Giles: We have to find Buffy. Something terrible’s happened. Just kidding. Thought I’d give you a scare. Are those finger sandwiches?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 5 – “Homecoming”
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Tag Archives: Xander Harris
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Giles: Right. It’s good to see you. Um, no need to panic.
Oz: Just a thought: poker: not your game.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 4 – “Beauty and the Beasts”
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Willow: Okay. Now, he’s had his two o’clock feeding, and, uh, after sunrise, if he forgets where his clothes are, they’re on top of the file cabinet in his cage. I put those towels up for privacy.
Xander: Uh, no worries. I can handle the Oz Full Monty. I mean, not ‘handle’ handle, like ‘hands to flesh’ handle.
Willow: Mm, okay. Well, it’s not for you. It’s for me, ’cause I’m still getting used to half a Monty.
Xander: Oh. Good…. Half? You and Oz? Which half?
Willow: Wouldn’t *you* like to know?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 4 — “Beauty and the Beasts”
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Willow: And over here, we have the cafeteria, where we were mauled by snakes.
Xander: And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow.
Willow: Oh, and over there in the lounge is where Spike and his gang nearly massacred us all on Parent-Teacher night. Oh, a-and up those stairs, I was sucked into a muddy grave.
Xander: And they say young people don’t learn anything in high school nowadays, but, um, I’ve learned to be afraid.
Faith: You guys are a hoot and a half. If I’d had friends like you in high school, I… probably still would’ve dropped out. But I might’ve been sad about it, you know?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 3 – “Faith, Hope & Trick”
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Scott: Hi, Buffy.
Buffy: Hi.
(Scott walks off)
Willow: I think that went very well. Don’t you think that went very well?
Cordelia: He didn’t try to slit our throats or anything. That’s progress.
Willow: Hey, did you do that little half-smile thing?
Buffy: Look, I’m not trying to snare Scott Hope. I just want to get my life back, you know, do normal stuff.
Willow: Like date?
Buffy: Well…
Xander: Oh, you wanna date. I saw that half-smile, you little slut. (Buffy punches him) Ow.
Buffy: All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I wanna do girlie stuff!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 3 – “Faith, Hope & Trick”
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Xander: Ahh. Buffy and food.
Willow: Maybe we shouldn’t be too couple-y around Buffy.
Cordelia: Oh, you mean ’cause of how the only guy that ever liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?
Xander: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell, or what?
Oz: All right, prepare to uncouple… Uncouple.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 3 – “Faith, Hope & Trick”
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Willow: I’m giddy.
Oz: Oh, I like you giddy. Always have.
Willow: It’s the freedom! As Seniors, we can go off-campus now for lunch. It’s no longer cutting. It’s legal! Heck, it’s expected! Wow, it’s, uh, also a big step forward, a Senior moment, one that has to be savored. You can’t just rush into this, you know?
(Oz and Xander grab Willow’s arms and carry her across the street.)
Willow: Ohh! No, I can’t!
Xander: You can.
Oz: See, you are.
Willow: Oh, but, no! What if they changed the rule without telling? What if they’re lying in wait to *arrest* me a-and, and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record?
Xander: Breathe. Breathe.
Willow: Okay. Hmm… This is good! This is… Hey, we’re Seniors! Hey, I’m walkin’ here!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 3 – “Faith, Hope & Trick”
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Oz: Are you guys all right?
Xander: First of all, what was with the acrobatics? How did that happen?
Oz: Wasn’t Andy Hoelich on the gymnastics team?
Xander: That’s right, he was! Cheater! Okay, and the, uh, second problem I’m having . . . ‘Come and get it, Big Boy’?
Willow: Well . . . W-well, the Slayer always says a pun or-or a witty play on words, and I think it throws the vampires off, and, and it makes them *frightened* because I’m wisecracking. Okay, I didn’t really have a chance to work on that one, but *you* try it every time.
Oz: Uh, if I may suggest: ‘This time it’s personal.’ I mean, there’s a reason why it’s a classic.
Xander: I’ve always been amazed with how Buffy fought, but . . . in a way, I feel like we took her punning for granted.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 1 – “Anne”
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Xander: Giles!
Giles: Xander?
Xander: Can you walk?
Giles: You’re not real.
Xander: Sure, I’m real.
Giles: It’s a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want.
Xander: Then why would they make you see me?
Giles: …………You’re right. Let’s go.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 22 – “Becoming (Part 2)”
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Willow: So, we’re looking for a beastie.
Giles: That, uh, eats humans whole… except for the skin.
Buffy: This doesn’t make any sense.
Xander: Yeah. The skin’s the best part.
Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol? (points at Giles) You’re gonna think about that later, mister, and you’re gonna laugh.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 20 – “Go Fish”
The Love Pirate 