Tag Archives: Rupert Giles

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Giles: How are you? 

Buffy: Loving the quiet. Nobody in here but me. 

Giles: Jonathan? How’s he? 

Buffy: Pretty crappy. His parents are freaking. He got suspended. And toting a piece to school, not exactly winning him a place with the in-crowd. But, I think he’s dealing.

Giles: Well, it’s good of you to check on him. 

Buffy: Well, it’s nice to be able to help someone in a non-slaying capacity. Except, he’s starting to get that look, you know, like he’s gonna ask me to Prom. 

Giles: Well, it would probably be good for his self-esteem, if you… 

Buffy: Oh come on! What am I, Saint Buffy? He’s like three feet tall! 

Giles: I’m glad to see you’ve recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training? 

Buffy: Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you’re not too busy having sex with my mother!

(Giles walks into a tree)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 18 — “Earshot”

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Joyce: I’m uh, I’m just going to get you another pillow. 

Buffy: I really don’t need one. 

Joyce: But you need another blanket. 

Buffy: Uh, mom, I’m fine.  

Joyce: How about, some soup? Chicken and stars. 

Buffy: Mom, please, just come sit with me.

Joyce: I’ve uh, I’ve got laundry. 

Buffy: Why are you…? (reading Joyce’s mind) You had sex with Giles?!

(Joyce gasps) 

Buffy: YOU HAD SEX WITH GILES?! 

Joyce: It was the candy! We were teenagers! 

Buffy: On the hood of a police car?!? 

Joyce: I’ll be downstairs. You feel better. (runs away) 

Buffy: TWICE!?!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 18 — “Earshot”

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Xander: Got the address. I beat it out of Willy the snitch personally.

Buffy: You beat up Willy? 

Xander: Sure! Well, actually, let’s just say I applied some pressure. Or more accurately, that I asked politely, and then, uh, okay, I bribed him. 

Buffy: How much? 

Xander: Twenty-eight bucks. Does the Council reimburse for that kind of stuff? 

Giles: Did you get a receipt? 

Xander: Damn.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 17 — “Enemies”

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Xander: What’s this Ascenscion mean?

Giles: I’m not sure. 

Wesley: No, not really a common term in demonology. 

Willow: Ooh ooh! The Marenschadt Text. I think in the section on genocide, they mention Ascenscion. 

Buffy: Well, we have a winner. 

Xander: And, more importantly, two losers. 

Giles: Where did you find that volume? 

Willow: In the top of your book cabinet with the stuff you try to keep hidden.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 17 — “Enemies”

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Wesley: And you say this demon wanted cash? That’s very unusual.

Giles: Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 17 — “Enemies”

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Giles: (examining vampire Willow) It’s extraordinary. 

Willow: It’s horrible! That’s me as a vampire? I’m so evil and… skanky… and I think I’m kinda gay. 

Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire’s personality has nothing to do with the person it was.

Angel: Well, actually… (Buffy shoots him a look) That’s a good point.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 16 — “Dopplegangland”

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Willow: It’s really nice that you guys missed me… Say, you all didn’t happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya? 

Xander: Will, we saw you at the Bronze. A vampire. 

Willow: I’m not a vampire. 

Buffy: You are. I-I mean, you, you were… Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon? 

Giles: Well, uh… something… something, um, very strange is happening. 

Xander: Can you believe the Watcher’s Council let this guy go?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 16 — “Dopplegangland”

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(The gang thinks Willow is a vampire)

Xander: This isn’t real.

Buffy: I can’t feel anything. Arms, legs, anything. 

Giles: She was truly the finest of all of us. 

Xander: Way better than me. 

Giles: (nodding) Much, much better.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 16 — “Dopplegangland”

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Buffy: When did you guys hang out?

Xander: Oh, she was fighting one of those, uh, apocalypse demon things, and I helped her. Gave her a ride home.

Buffy: And you guys talked?

Xander: Not extensively. No.

Buffy: Then why would you… Oh.

Giles: Oh!

Willow: I don’t need to say ‘oh’. I got it before. They slept together.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 15 — “Consequences”

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Giles: If you want to criticize my methods, fine. But you can keep your snide remarks to yourself. And while you’re at it, don’t criticize my methods.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 14 — Bad Girls