Quote of the Day


Xander: Willow, what are these? 

Willow: They’re early admission packets.

Xander: Harvard… Yale… Wesleyan… Some German Polytechnical Institute whose name I, uh… I can’t pronounce. Is anyone else intimidated? ‘Cause I’m just expecting thin slips of paper with the words ‘No Way’ written in crayon.

Oz: They’re typing those now.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 14 — “Bad Girls”

Quote of the Day


Faith: She got me really wound up. A fight like that and… no kill… I’m about ready to pop.

Xander: Really? Pop?! 

Faith: You up for it?

Xander: Oh, I’m up. I’m suddenly very up. It’s just, um… I’ve never been up with people before.

Faith: Just relax… And take your pants off.

Xander: Those two concepts are antithetical.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”

Quote of the Day


Xander: You girls need a lift? 

Buffy: What is this? 

Xander: What do you mean, what is it? It’s my thing

Willow: Your thing? 

Xander: My thing

Buffy: Is this a penis metaphor?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”

Quote of the Day


Xander: But… It’s just that it’s buggin’ me, this ‘cool’ thing. I mean, what is it? How do you get it? Who doesn’t have it? And who decides who doesn’t have it? What is the essence of cool? 

Oz: Not sure. 

Xander: I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why is that? 

Oz: Am I?

Xander: Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases? 

Oz: Could be. 

Xander: I know! You’re in a band! That’s like a business-class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff! I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar? 

Oz: Not the way I play it. 

Xander: Okay, but on the other hand: eighth grade. I’m taking the flügelhorn and gettin’ zero trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. But you need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?

Oz: An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”

Quote of the Day

 

Xander: I’m good. We’re fine. Just a little bit dirty. Good show, everyone. Just great. I think we have a hit. 

Willow: Are you okay? 

Xander: Tip-top, really. If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it. 

Buffy: Xander, one of these days, you’re gonna get yourself hurt. 

Faith: Or killed. 

Buffy: Or both. And, you know, with the pain and the death, maybe you shouldn’t be leaping into the fray like that. Maybe you should be… fray-adjacent. 

Xander: Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head? 

Faith: Yeah. That was real manly how you shrieked and all. 

Xander: I think you’ll find that was more of a bellow.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”

Quote of the Day

Xander: So, you doing anything special?

Buffy: Tree. Nog. Roast beast. Just me and Mom and hopefully an excess of gifts. What are you doing for Christmas?

Willow: Being Jewish. Remember, people? Not everybody worships Santa.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 10 — “Amends”

Quote of the Day

 

Xander: But you know what really bugs me? Okay, we kissed. It was a mistake. But I know that was positively the last time we were ever gonna kiss. 

Willow: Darn tootin’! 

Xander: And they burst in, rescuing us, without even knocking? I mean, this is really all their fault.

Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.

Xander: Mine is much more advanced.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 9 — “The Wish”

Quote of the Day

 

(Buffy just killed a demon)

Willow: Isn’t he gonna go poof? 

Buffy: Mm, I guess these guys don’t. We’ll have to bury him or something. Uhhf… Makes you appreciate vamps, though. No fuss, no muss.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 9 — “The Wish”

Quote of the Day

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Oz: (about Willow’s SAT score) Well, I can see why you’d be upset. (Willow looks hurt) That was my sarcastic voice.

Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.

Oz: I’ve been told that.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 8 – “Lover’s Walk”

Quote of the Day

 

Xander: I don’t get this. The candy’s supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I’ve had a ton, and I don’t feel any dif… Never mind.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 6 – “Band Candy”