Tag Archives: cordy

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(the Gang is watching a security tape)

Cordelia: Look! Right there, zoom in on that. 

Xander: It’s a videotape. 

Cordelia: So? They do it on television all the time. 

Xander: Not with a regular VCR they don’t. 

Wesley: Perhaps we could stay on the topic for once. What were you doing this afternoon? 

Cordelia: What? Um, I was… 

Xander: Burning a hole in daddy’s wallet, as usual. I just bumped into her during my tuxedo hunt. 

Oz: What’s that? Pause it. 

Xander: Guys! It’s just a normal VCR. It doesn’t… Oh wait, uh, it can do pause.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 20 — “The Prom”

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Buffy: I want to share this with you. It’s like all these doors are opening to all these little worlds, and I can just walk right inside. 

Oz’s thoughts: No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore, she is.

Willow’s thoughts: She knows so much. She knows what Oz is thinking. I never know that. Before long, she’ll know him better than I do.

Buffy: No, don’t think that.

Willow: I can’t help it Buffy. I’m sorry, I just can’t. (leaves)

Oz: If you don’t need me, I’m gonna follow the redhead. (leaves)

Buffy: Guess I won’t be writing that book, ‘Gaining Friends through Telepathy.’ 

Cordelia: (in her head) Whatever. I wonder when I can go. (out loud) Whatever. Can I go?

Wesley: (sticks his head out of the office) Excuse me. Can you hear me thinking in here? I could go out into the hall. 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 18 — “Earshot”

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Wesley: Xander has just illustrated something. Chances are, you’re all going to be thinking whatever you least want Buffy to hear. It’s a question, of course, of mental discipline.

Giles: He’s right. There are…

Wesley’s Thoughts: Look at Cordelia. No! Don’t look at Cordelia! She’s a student! Oh I am a bad man. I’m a bad, bad man! 

(Buffy stares knowingly at him.)

Wesley: Excuse me. (flees)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 18 — “Earshot”

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Xander: She can read our minds? Our every impulse and fantasy. 

Buffy: Every one. 

Xander: (in his head) Oh god. 

Cordelia: (in her head) I don’t see what this has to do with me. (out loud) I don’t see what this has to do with me.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 18 — “Earshot”

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Cordelia: Wake up! (Cordy slaps Giles)

Giles: Cordelia?

Cordelia: Took you long enough to wake up. My hand hurts.

Giles: Pity. Oh… Why are you here?

Cordelia: Things are way out of control, Giles. First the thing at school, and then my mom confiscates all of my black clothes and scented candles. I came over here to tell Buffy to stop this craziness and found you all unconscious… again. How many times have you been knocked out, anyway? I swear, one of these times, you’re gonna wake up in a coma.

Giles: Wake up in a… Oh, never mind. We need to save Buffy from Hansel and Gretel.

Cordelia: Now, let’s be clear. The brain damage happened before I hit you.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 11 – “Gingerbread”

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Buffy: Yes, you are. We are gonna get out of here, and we are gonna head back to the library, where Giles and the rest of the weapons live. Then I’m gonna take out the rest of these guys just in time for you to congratulate me on my sweeping victory as Homecoming Queen.

Cordelia: I know what you’re up to. You think if you get me mad enough, I won’t be so scared. And, hey! It’s working! Where’s a damn weapon?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 5 – “Homecoming”

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Willow: I’m giddy.

Oz: Oh, I like you giddy. Always have.

Willow: It’s the freedom! As Seniors, we can go off-campus now for lunch. It’s no longer cutting. It’s legal! Heck, it’s expected! Wow, it’s, uh, also a big step forward, a Senior moment, one that has to be savored. You can’t just rush into this, you know?

(Oz and Xander grab Willow’s arms and carry her across the street.)

Willow: Ohh! No, I can’t!

Xander: You can.

Oz: See, you are.

Willow: Oh, but, no! What if they changed the rule without telling? What if they’re lying in wait to *arrest* me a-and, and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record?

Xander: Breathe. Breathe.

Willow: Okay. Hmm… This is good! This is… Hey, we’re Seniors! Hey, I’m walkin’ here!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 3 – “Faith, Hope & Trick”

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Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?

Cordelia: What’s the difference?

Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it’s chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 2 – “Dead Man’s Party”

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Willow: Xander, what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet?

Xander: You’re just a big bucket of funny, Will. I’ll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, um, locker monster.

Giles: Loch Ness Monster?

Buffy: ‘Locker’ monster is what he said. But it wasn’t really a monster. It was, like, this big arm that came out of the locker, but then we opened it again, it was gone. Nothing.

Xander: This was right after Buffy’s history teacher starts doing some freaky channeling thing in class.

Giles: Ooh! Sounds like paranormal phenomena.

Willow: A ghost? Cool!

Xander: Oh, no, no. No. No cool. This was no wimpy chain rattler. This was ‘I’m dead as hell, and I’m not gonna take it anymore.’

Giles: Well, despite the Xander-speak, that’s a fairly accurate definition of a poltergeist.

Xander: I defined something? Accurately? Guess I’m done with the book learning.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 19 – “I Only Have Eyes For You”

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Cordelia: Eww, what does this do?

Giles: What?

Cordelia: What does this do?

Giles: Uh, it, uh, extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells.

Cordelia: Wow! What does this one do?

Giles: Um, i-it elongates its mouth to, uh, engulf its victim’s head with its incisors.

Cordelia: Ouch. Wait, what does this one do?

Giles: It asks endless questions of those with whom it’s supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.

Cordelia: Boy, there’s a demon for everything.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”