Quote of the Day

Oz: (in his head) I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. (out loud) Hmm… 

Xander: (in his head) What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex! Help! 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked Women! Naked Buffy! Oh stop me! 

Buffy: God Xander! Is that all you think about? 

Xander: Actually… bye. (runs away)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 18 — “Earshot”

Quote of the Day

Willow: I’m a blood-sucking fiend! Look at my outfit! 

Alfonse: A human. I should have smelled it right away. 

Willow: A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this? (She screams at the top of her lungs)

Anya: Sure. Yeah. Humans do that. Yeah. 

Alfonse: Yeah. Yeah, I think, yeah.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 16 — “Dopplegangland”

Quote of the Day

Xander: Willow, what are these? 

Willow: They’re early admission packets.

Xander: Harvard… Yale… Wesleyan… Some German Polytechnical Institute whose name I, uh… I can’t pronounce. Is anyone else intimidated? ‘Cause I’m just expecting thin slips of paper with the words ‘No Way’ written in crayon.

Oz: They’re typing those now.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 14 — “Bad Girls”

Quote of the Day


Oz: (about Willow’s SAT score) Well, I can see why you’d be upset. (Willow looks hurt) That was my sarcastic voice.

Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.

Oz: I’ve been told that.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 8 – “Lover’s Walk”

Quote of the Day


Willow: I mean, this time, it’s not your boyfriend who’s the cold-blooded… (Oz walks in) Jelly doughnut?

(later in the episode)

Giles: Our task now is to determine what sort of killer we *are* dealing with. Clearly, we’re looking for a depraved, sadistic animal.

Oz: (entering) Present. (Willow rushes over to him) Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing is impeccable.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 4 – “Beauty and the Beasts”

Quote of the Day


Giles: Right. It’s good to see you. Um, no need to panic.

Oz: Just a thought: poker: not your game.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 4 – “Beauty and the Beasts”

Quote of the Day


Oz: How do, Debbie?

Debbie: Hi, Oz. Hey, you’re not doing jazz band this year?

Oz: Oh, can’t take the pressure. It’s not the music that’s hard, it’s the marching.

Buffy: We have a marching jazz band?

Oz: Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we’d be going off in all directions, banging into floats… Scary.

Willow: He’s just being Oz.

Oz: Pretty much full-time.

Buffy the Vanpire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 4 – “Beauty and the Beasts”

Quote of the Day


Willow: Okay. Now, he’s had his two o’clock feeding, and, uh, after sunrise, if he forgets where his clothes are, they’re on top of the file cabinet in his cage. I put those towels up for privacy. 

Xander: Uh, no worries. I can handle the Oz Full Monty. I mean, not ‘handle’ handle, like ‘hands to flesh’ handle. 

Willow: Mm, okay. Well, it’s not for you. It’s for me, ’cause I’m still getting used to half a Monty.

Xander: Oh. Good…. Half? You and Oz? Which half? 

Willow: Wouldn’t *you* like to know?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 4 — “Beauty and the Beasts”

Quote of the Day


Willow: I’m giddy.

Oz: Oh, I like you giddy. Always have.

Willow: It’s the freedom! As Seniors, we can go off-campus now for lunch. It’s no longer cutting. It’s legal! Heck, it’s expected! Wow, it’s, uh, also a big step forward, a Senior moment, one that has to be savored. You can’t just rush into this, you know?

(Oz and Xander grab Willow’s arms and carry her across the street.)

Willow: Ohh! No, I can’t!

Xander: You can.

Oz: See, you are.

Willow: Oh, but, no! What if they changed the rule without telling? What if they’re lying in wait to *arrest* me a-and, and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record?

Xander: Breathe. Breathe.

Willow: Okay. Hmm… This is good! This is… Hey, we’re Seniors! Hey, I’m walkin’ here!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 3 – “Faith, Hope & Trick”

Quote of the Day


Oz: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?

Cordelia: What’s the difference?

Oz: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it’s chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 2 – “Dead Man’s Party”