Lorelai: I already had the longest day of my life and, oh, look, it’s only ten. How nice.
Luke: There’s no coffee.
Lorelai: That’s not funny.
Luke: I can give you herbal tea.
Lorelai: This is not an herbal tea morning. This is a coffee morning.
Luke: Every morning for you is a coffee morning.
Lorelai: This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an IV.
Luke: I can give you tea and a Balance bar.
Lorelai: Please, please, please tell me you’re kidding.
Luke: I’m kidding.
Lorelai: You’re sick.
Luke: Yup.
Lorelai: You’re a sadist, you’re a fiend! (Luke returns with coffee) You’re pretty.
Luke: For here or to go?
Lorelai: To go, please.
Luke: You wanna know what this stuff does to your central nervous system?
Lorelai: Ooh, do you have a chart? ‘Cause I love charts.
Luke: Forget it, kill yourself. So what happened this morning that was so awful?
Lorelai: Rory started Chilton.
Luke: Really?
Lorelai: Yeah. What?
Luke: That’s how you dress to take Rory to Chilton?
Lorelai: No, but –
Luke: I mean, that’s a fancy school.
Lorelai: My clothes were at the cleaners, and I had the fuzzy clock and it didn’t purr on time.
Luke: It didn’t purr?
Lorelai: It’s fuzzy. It purrs. You know what, never mind. I gotta go. I had a plan, damn it.
Luke: Me, too. Next time you’re getting tea.
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 2 — “The Lorelais’ First Day at Chilton”
Mal: Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain’t we just. Sorry to interrupt, folks. Y’all got something that belongs to us and we’d like it back.
Patron: This is a holy cleansing. You cannot think to thwart God’s will.
Mal: Y’all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? Now I’m not saying you weren’t easy to find. It was kinda out of our way, and he didn’t want to come in the first place. Man’s lookin’ to kill some folk. So really it’s his will y’all should worry about thwarting. (to Simon) Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin’ folk is near miraculous.
Simon: Yes, I’m very proud.
Mal: Cut her down.
Patron: That girl is a witch.
Mal: Yeah, but she’s our witch. So cut her the hell down.
Firefly — Episode 5 — “Safe”
Sulu: How do you figure it, Chekov? First we’re going to Vulcan, then we’re going to Altair, then we’re headed to Vulcan again, and now we’re headed back to Altair.
Chekov: I think I’m going to get space sick.
Star Trek — Season 2: Episode 5 — “Amok Time”
Buffy: New Watcher?
Giles: New Watcher.
Wesley: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. It’s very nice to meet you.
Buffy: Is he evil?
Wesley: Evil?
Buffy: The last one was evil.
Wesley: Oh, yes. Gwendolyn Post. We all heard. No. Mr. Giles has checked my credentials rather thoroughly and phoned the Council, but I’m glad to see you’re on the ball as well. A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer.
Buffy: Is he evil?
Giles: Not in the strictest sense.
Wesley: Well, I’m glad that’s cleared up.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 14 — “Bad Girls”
Rory: I can’t believe tomorrow’s my last day at Stars Hollow High.
Lorelai: I know.
Rory: Today I was so excited I dressed for gym.
Lorelai: You’re kidding!
Rory: And I played volleyball.
Lorelai: With other people?
Rory: And I learned that all this time I was avoiding group sports?
Lorelai: Yeah?
Rory: Was very smart because I suck at them.
Lorelai: Well, yeah, you got that from me.
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 1 — “Pilot”
Simon: Hodgeberries… Do you remember when we found those giant hodgeberry bushes on the Cambersons’ estate? And we thought they’d grown wild, but…Long while ago.
River: I took you away from there.
Simon: No.
River: I know I did. You don’t think I do, but… I get confused. I remember everything. I remember too much, and… some of it’s made up, and… some of it can’t be quantified, and… there’s secrets.
Simon: It’s okay.
River: But I understand. You gave up everything you had to find me. And you found me broken. It’s hard for you. You gave up everything you had…
Simon: Mei mei… Everything I have is right here.
River: You need to eat. Keep up your strength. We won’t be here long. Daddy will come and take us home. And I’ll get better… I’ll get better.
(Simon eats another berry)
Simon: These are better than the Cambersons’ berries.
River: They are. Except they’re poison.
(Simon spits out the berries)
River: (laughing) He believed her. Made a face.
Simon: You are such a brat!
Firefly — Episode 5 — “Safe”
The Love Pirate 