Wash: We got it. It’s not pretty, but we can steer enough to turn the hell around.
Mal: Nice work, Kaylee.
Kaylee: Not soon enough to help.
Mal: Hey. Lot easier to pull things apart than it is put ’em right. You’re still the best mechanic floatin’.
(Mal kisses the top of Kaylee’s head.)
Wash: Captain, didn’t you know kissin’ girls makes you sleepy?
Mal: Well sometimes I just can’t help myself.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: Yeah but she had professional… So in my case, it was really… (to Book) You woulda kissed her, too.
Zoe: Wash didn’t.
Mal: But she was naked! And all… articulate!
Wash: Okay! Everybody not talking about sex, in here. Everybody else, elsewhere!
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Saffron: Please? Show me the stars.
Wash: Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung [Holy mother of god and all her wacky nephews!] do I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not… married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinkie!
Saffron: I’ve been too forward.
Wash: No! Well, yes, but I actually like that in a woman. That’s part of why Zoe and I are, as recently mentioned, married.
Saffron: I thought she didn’t seem to respect you.
Wash: Not everybody gets me and Zoe at first glance.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Zoe: Clearly she’s out of her mind.
Wash: Well, she’s let a sheltered life.
Zoe: Did you see the way she grabbed that glass from you?
Wash: Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to god. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled.
Zoe: Of course. The man rushes in to defend her.
Wash: I’m talking about geese.
Zoe: Captain shouldn’t be babysitting a damned groupie, and he knows it.
Wash: Okay, when did this become not funny?
Zoe: When you didn’t turn around and put her ass back down on Triumph where it belongs.
Wash: Oh, hey! Now it’s even my fault? Is there anything else on your mind that I should know about? There are all kinds of twists and cul de sacs. It’s wild!
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: You know what, you all are makin’ a big deal. I would appreciate it if someone on this boat would not assume that I’m an evil lecherous hun dan (bastard).
Zoe: Nobody’s saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we’re pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Wash: Something smells good.
Zoe: Havin’ yourself a little supper, captain?
Mal: Well, Saffron insisted on… you know, I didn’t want to make her feel… it’s damn tasty!
Wash: Is there any more where that came from?
Saffron: I didn’t think to make enough for your friends. But everything’s laid out if you’d like to cook for your husband.
Wash: (laughs uncomfortably) Isn’t she quaint? I’m just not hungry.
Zoe: So, are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?
Mal: She wanted to make me dinner. At least she’s not cryin’.
Wash: I might! Did she really make fresh bao? (Zoe shoots him a look) Quaint!
Zoe: Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Book: Who’s the new recruit?
Zoe: Everybody, I want you all to meet… Mrs. Reynolds.
Kaylee: You got married?!
Simon: Well, that’s, uh… Congratulations.
Wash: We’d always hoped you two kids would get together… Who is she?
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: Zoe, would you get Wash?
Zoe: (on the intercom) This is Zoe. We need all personnel in the cargo bay.
Mal: Whoa, whoa. I said Wash.
Zoe: Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss.
Mal: There’s-there’s no bliss! I don’t know this girl!
Jayne: Then can I know her?
Zoe: Jayne! Don’t sully this.
Mal: You are gonna be cleaning latrines with your face you don’t knock that off.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain’t we just. Sorry to interrupt, folks. Y’all got something that belongs to us and we’d like it back.
Patron: This is a holy cleansing. You cannot think to thwart God’s will.
Mal: Y’all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? Now I’m not saying you weren’t easy to find. It was kinda out of our way, and he didn’t want to come in the first place. Man’s lookin’ to kill some folk. So really it’s his will y’all should worry about thwarting. (to Simon) Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin’ folk is near miraculous.
Simon: Yes, I’m very proud.
Mal: Cut her down.
Patron: That girl is a witch.
Mal: Yeah, but she’s our witch. So cut her the hell down.
Firefly — Episode 5 — “Safe”
Zoe: You sanguine about the kind of reception we’re up to receive on an Alliance ship, Cap?
Mal: Absolutely…. What’s sanguine mean?
Zoe: Sanguine. Hopeful. Plus, point of interest, it also means bloody.
Mal: Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don’t it?
Firefly — Episode 5 — “Safe”
The Love Pirate 