Lorelai: I already had the longest day of my life and, oh, look, it’s only ten. How nice.
Luke: There’s no coffee.
Lorelai: That’s not funny.
Luke: I can give you herbal tea.
Lorelai: This is not an herbal tea morning. This is a coffee morning.
Luke: Every morning for you is a coffee morning.
Lorelai: This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an IV.
Luke: I can give you tea and a Balance bar.
Lorelai: Please, please, please tell me you’re kidding.
Luke: I’m kidding.
Lorelai: You’re sick.
Lorelai: You’re a sadist, you’re a fiend! (Luke returns with coffee) You’re pretty.
Luke: For here or to go?
Lorelai: To go, please.
Luke: You wanna know what this stuff does to your central nervous system?
Lorelai: Ooh, do you have a chart? ‘Cause I love charts.
Luke: Forget it, kill yourself. So what happened this morning that was so awful?
Lorelai: Rory started Chilton.
Lorelai: Yeah. What?
Luke: That’s how you dress to take Rory to Chilton?
Lorelai: No, but –
Luke: I mean, that’s a fancy school.
Lorelai: My clothes were at the cleaners, and I had the fuzzy clock and it didn’t purr on time.
Luke: It didn’t purr?
Lorelai: It’s fuzzy. It purrs. You know what, never mind. I gotta go. I had a plan, damn it.
Luke: Me, too. Next time you’re getting tea.
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 2 — “The Lorelais’ First Day at Chilton”