Lorelai: I already had the longest day of my life and, oh, look, it’s only ten. How nice.

Luke: There’s no coffee.

Lorelai: That’s not funny.

Luke: I can give you herbal tea.

Lorelai: This is not an herbal tea morning. This is a coffee morning.

Luke: Every morning for you is a coffee morning.

Lorelai: This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an IV.

Luke: I can give you tea and a Balance bar.

Lorelai: Please, please, please tell me you’re kidding.

Luke: I’m kidding.

Lorelai: You’re sick.

Luke: Yup.

Lorelai: You’re a sadist, you’re a fiend! (Luke returns with coffee) You’re pretty.

Luke: For here or to go?

Lorelai: To go, please.

Luke: You wanna know what this stuff does to your central nervous system?

Lorelai: Ooh, do you have a chart? ‘Cause I love charts.

Luke: Forget it, kill yourself. So what happened this morning that was so awful?

Lorelai: Rory started Chilton.

Luke: Really?

Lorelai: Yeah. What?

Luke: That’s how you dress to take Rory to Chilton?

Lorelai: No, but –

Luke: I mean, that’s a fancy school.

Lorelai: My clothes were at the cleaners, and I had the fuzzy clock and it didn’t purr on time.

Luke: It didn’t purr?

Lorelai: It’s fuzzy. It purrs. You know what, never mind. I gotta go. I had a plan, damn it.

Luke: Me, too. Next time you’re getting tea.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 2 — “The Lorelais’ First Day at Chilton”