Mal: Zoe, would you get Wash?
Zoe: (on the intercom) This is Zoe. We need all personnel in the cargo bay.
Mal: Whoa, whoa. I said Wash.
Zoe: Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss.
Mal: There’s-there’s no bliss! I don’t know this girl!
Jayne: Then can I know her?
Zoe: Jayne! Don’t sully this.
Mal: You are gonna be cleaning latrines with your face you don’t knock that off.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Spock: Doctor, if I were able to show emotion, your new infatuation with that term would begin to annoy me.
McCoy: What term? Logic? Medical men are trained in logic, Mister Spock.
Spock: Really, Doctor, I had no idea they were trained. Watching you, I assumed it was trial and error.
Star Trek — Season 2: Episode 14 — “Bread and Circuses”
Anya: For a thousand years I wielded the powers of The Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. And now I’m stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child… And I’m flunking math.
D’Hoffryn: This is no concern of ours. You will live out your mortal life and die.
Anya: Give me another chance. You can fold the fabric of time. Send me back to that place and I’ll change it. I won’t fail again.
D’Hoffryn: Your time is passed.
Anya: Do you have any idea how boring twelfth graders are?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 16 — “Dopplegangland”
Luke: Sookie!
Sookie: Hey. I was just looking for your paprika.
Luke: What have I said about the counter?
Sookie: I know.
Luke: How the counter is a sacred space. MY sacred space. You don’t do yoga on the Dalai Lama’s mat and you don’t come behind my counter, period.
Sookie: I was trying to help.
Luke: (to Lorelai) You bring her again and I want her on a leash. I mean it.
Sookie: He does make a damn find burger though.
Gilmore Girls – Season 1: Episode 5 – “Cinnamon’s Wake”
Mal: Zoe, why do I have a wife?
Jayne: You got a wife? All I got is that dumbass stick sounds like it’s raining. How come you got a wife?
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
McCoy: What’s the matter, Spock?
Spock: There’s something disquieting about these creatures.
McCoy: Don’t tell me you’ve got a feeling.
Spock: Don’t be insulting, Doctor. They remind me of the lilies of the field. They toil not, neither do they spin. But they seem to eat a great deal. I see no practical use for them.
McCoy: Does everything have to have a practical use for you? They’re nice, soft, and furry, and they make a pleasant sound.
Spock: So would an ermine violin, but I see no advantage in having one.
McCoy: It’s a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if they’re attractive in some way.
Spock: Doctor, I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated by them, but I’ve trained myself to put up with practically anything.
McCoy: Spock, I don’t know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there’s one thing that I have discovered.
Spock: What is that, Doctor?
McCoy: I like them… better than I like you.
Spock: Doctor?
McCoy: Yes?
Spock: They do have one redeeming characteristic.
McCoy: What’s that?
Spock: They do not talk too much. If you’ll excuse me, sir.
Star Trek — Season 2: Episode 13 — “The Trouble with Tribbles”
Buffy: When did you guys hang out?
Xander: Oh, she was fighting one of those, uh, apocalypse demon things, and I helped her. Gave her a ride home.
Buffy: And you guys talked?
Xander: Not extensively. No.
Buffy: Then why would you… Oh.
Giles: Oh!
Willow: I don’t need to say ‘oh’. I got it before. They slept together.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 15 — “Consequences”
Lorelai: You are of hardy stubborn stock, my dear. If there’s one thing I gave you, it’s my stubbornness.
Rory: I’m not stubborn.
Lorelai: Yes you are.
Rory: No I’m not.
Lorelai: Fine you’re not.
Rory: Thank you.
Lorelai: You’re welcome.
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 4 — “The Deer-Hunters”
Mal: Gaaahhh! Who the hell are you?
Saffron: What do you mean?
Mal: Well, I think I was pretty clear. What are you doing on my boat?
Saffron: But… you know I’m to cleave to you…?
Mal: To-whubba-who?
Saffron: Did Elder Gommen not tell you?
Mal: Tell me what? Who are you?
Saffron: Mr. Reynolds, sir… I’m your wife.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Giles: If you want to criticize my methods, fine. But you can keep your snide remarks to yourself. And while you’re at it, don’t criticize my methods.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 14 — Bad Girls
The Love Pirate 