Mal: Yeah but she had professional… So in my case, it was really… (to Book) You woulda kissed her, too.
Zoe: Wash didn’t.
Mal: But she was naked! And all… articulate!
Wash: Okay! Everybody not talking about sex, in here. Everybody else, elsewhere!
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Saffron: Please? Show me the stars.
Wash: Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung [Holy mother of god and all her wacky nephews!] do I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not… married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinkie!
Saffron: I’ve been too forward.
Wash: No! Well, yes, but I actually like that in a woman. That’s part of why Zoe and I are, as recently mentioned, married.
Saffron: I thought she didn’t seem to respect you.
Wash: Not everybody gets me and Zoe at first glance.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Saffron: Do you know the myth of Earth-that-was?
Wash: Not so much.
Saffron: That when she was born, she had no sky, and was open, inviting. And the stars would rush into her, through the skin of her, making the oceans boil with sensation. And when she could endure no more ecstasy, she puffed up her cheeks and blew out the sky.
Wash: Whoa. Good myth.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: Listen, Saffron… it ain’t a question of pleasing me. It’s more a question of what’s, um, of what’s morally right.
Saffron: I do know my bible, sir. On the night of their betrothal the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow. He shall work in her again and again, til she bring him to his full. And rest him then upon the sweat of her breast.
Mal: Whoa. Good bible.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: Hey! You’re, uh… uh… well, there you are.
Saffron: I’ve made the bed warm for you.
Mal: It looks, uh, warm.
Saffron: And I’ve made myself ready for you.
Mal: Let’s ride right past the part where you explain exactly what that means. Didn’t you see you got a room of your own?
Saffron: And I’m to sleep there?
Mal: That’s the notion. Assuming you’re… yeah… sleepy.
Saffron: But we’ve been wed. Aren’t we to become one flesh?
Mal: Well, no, uh… We’re still two fleshes here, and I think that your flesh ought to sleep somewhere else.
Saffron: I’m sorry. When we talked I’d hoped, but I don’t —
(she lets the sheet that’s covering her fall)
Mal: (looking away) Whoa, hey! Flesh…
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Wash: Something smells good.
Zoe: Havin’ yourself a little supper, captain?
Mal: Well, Saffron insisted on… you know, I didn’t want to make her feel… it’s damn tasty!
Wash: Is there any more where that came from?
Saffron: I didn’t think to make enough for your friends. But everything’s laid out if you’d like to cook for your husband.
Wash: (laughs uncomfortably) Isn’t she quaint? I’m just not hungry.
Zoe: So, are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?
Mal: She wanted to make me dinner. At least she’s not cryin’.
Wash: I might! Did she really make fresh bao? (Zoe shoots him a look) Quaint!
Zoe: Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Saffron: Are you gonna kill me?
Mal: What?! What kind of crappy planet is that? Kill you?
Saffron: In the maiden’s home I heard talk of men who weren’t pleased with their brides —
Mal: Well I ain’t them! And don’t you ever stand for that sort of thing. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back! Look, wife or no, you are no one’s property to be tossed aside. You got the right same as anyone to live and try to kill people. I mean, you know… people that are… That’s a dumb planet.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: She’s no one!
(Saffron bursts into tears)
Kaylee: Captain!
Mal: (to Saffron) Would you stop that?
Saffron: I’m sorry.
Mal: You brute.
Kaylee: Hey, sweetie. Don’t feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He’s like a monster.
Mal: I’m not a monster!
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: Gaaahhh! Who the hell are you?
Saffron: What do you mean?
Mal: Well, I think I was pretty clear. What are you doing on my boat?
Saffron: But… you know I’m to cleave to you…?
Mal: To-whubba-who?
Saffron: Did Elder Gommen not tell you?
Mal: Tell me what? Who are you?
Saffron: Mr. Reynolds, sir… I’m your wife.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
The Love Pirate 