Quote of the Day

Luke: Yeah well, can I get you anything?

Lorelai: Oh, um, do you think you could make those really crazy chocolate chip pancakes and go extra heavy on the chocolate?

Luke: Yeah sure, any special occasion?

Lorelai: Dean broke up with Rory.

Luke: What?!

Lorelai: Keep it down, she doesn’t want anybody to know about it.

Luke: Oh I knew it, I just knew that kid was trouble.

Lorelai: Yes you did, you knew it. Pancakes please.

Luke: Oh God, he’s got a nerve. I mean what does he think he’s gonna do better than Rory? Is he crazy? Jeez. Alright, well forget it ok. Good riddance, adios, bienvenidos, hasta la vista.

Lorelai: Could we get off the small world ride and start cooking please?

Luke: How is she?

Lorelai: She’s been dumped by her first boyfriend.

Luke: Oh man, I swear I would love to — ok, I’m gonna put some whipped cream on the pancakes too.

(a few minutes later)

Luke: More coffee? Pancakes are coming right up, anything else I can get you?

Rory: No thanks.

Luke: Hey I’ve got some strawberries back there, you like strawberries don’t you?

Rory: Yeah I like strawberries but —

Luke: I’m getting you strawberries. 

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 17 — “The Breakup, Part 2”

Quote of the Day

(in the middle of an awkward dinner conversation)

Lorelai: I hate president Bush.

Straub: What?

Emily: Lorelai!

Christopher: Oh boy.

Lorelai: He’s stupid and his face is too tiny for his head and I just want to toss him out.

Straub: That is the leader of our country young lady.

Richard: Ignore her. 

Francine: His face is too tiny for his head, what kind of thing is that to say?

Straub: I see your daughter is just as out of control as ever.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 15 — “Christopher Returns”

Quote of the Day

Taylor: Damn motorcycles, they’re a scourge.

Rory: Yeah.

Lorelai: Yeah.

Taylor: They’re loud, they’re dangerous. We should ban them from town.

Lorelai: Maybe we should set up barricades and ban all unwelcome strangers from crossing the border.

Taylor: (excited) Well! (disappointed) Well, no we couldn’t do that, that would be illegal.

Lorelai: Darn laws.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

Lorelai: What’s going on?

Richard: Oh, your mother and I have just secured a place on Martha’s Vineyard.

Rory: Really, that’s great!

Lorelai: I thought you lost your old place.

Emily: We did. But this afternoon we found out that Arthur Roundtree had died.

Richard: He’d been drinking.

Emily: So we got on the phone and snatched that place up.

Richard: Oh, it’s a fine piece of property.

Emily: Much better than our usual place.

Lorelai: The both of you are going directly to hell, I hope you know that.

Richard: Well, at least we’ll be well rested.

Lorelai: Touché.

Gilmore Girls – Season 1: Episode 14 – “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

Rory: Can brains hurt?

Lorelai: Yes, it’s hypochondria hour.

Rory: No, I’m serious. Last night when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain.

Lorelai: Your brain pinged?

Rory: Yeah. It just went like “dink.”

Lorelai: Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn’t ping.

Rory: Well I don’t think a dinking brain is any less worrisome than a pinging brain.

Lorelai: Well, you got me there.

Rory: So should I go to a tumor doctor?

Lorelai: No, you don’t have a tumor. You’re reading too much. You’re probably just losing your eyesight.

Rory: Thank you.

Lorelai: You’re welcome.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

(Lorelai, Rory, and Dean are watching “The Donna Reed Show” with Rory and Lorelai making up their own dialogue.)

Lorelai: “You know, Daughter, there’s nothing more satisfying thatn washing windows — oh no!”

Rory: “What? Did I miss a spot?”

Lorelai: “No, I just had an impure thought about your father, Alex. Funny — I don’t know why I had it. It isn’t the second Saturday of the month.”

Rory: (as the father, Alex) “Hey, I heard you had an impure thought.”

Lorelai: “I must now sublimate all my impure thoughts by going into the kitchen and making an endless string of perfect casseroles.”

Dean: You’re not even listening to the dialogue.

Rory: Ours is better.

Dean: I don’t know — it all seems kind of nice to me.

Rory: What does?

Dean: Well, you know, families hanging together. I mean, a wife cooking dinner for her husband. And look — she seems really happy.

Lorelai: She’s medicated.

Rory: And acting from a script.

Lorelai: Written by a man.

Rory: Well said, Sister Suffragette.

Dean: What if she likes making doughnuts and dinner for her family and keeping things nice for them and —

(Rory and Lorelai stare at him.)

Dean: OK, I feel very unpopular right now.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day


Emily: Where are you going?

Rory: To the dance.

Emily: You do not go running out the door when a boy honks.

Lorelai: Mom, it’s fine.

Emily: It certainly is not fine. This is not a drive through. She’s not fried chicken.

Rory: But I told him to honk and I’d meet him out there. We agreed.

Emily: I don’t care what you told him. If he wants to take you out, he will walk up to this door, and know, and say ‘good evening,’ and come inside for a moment like any civilized human being would know to do.

Lorelai: Now, Mom, this is silly, I have met him already.

Emily: Well I haven’t.

Lorelai: Yeah, but–

Emily: We will wait until he comes to the door.

Rory: He doesn’t know he’s supposed to.

Emily: He will figure it out.

(They wait in silence. Dean honks again.)

Emily: He’s not a very bright boy, is he?

Gilmore Girls – Season 1: Episode 9 – “Rory’s Dance”

Quote of the Day

Rory: Lane? Lane?

Lane: What’s wrong?

Rory: I got kissed! And I shoplifted.

Lane: Are you serious? Who kissed you?

Rory: Dean.

Lane: The new kid?

Rory: Yes.

Lane: You got the new kid? Oh my God!

Rory: It happened so fast. I was just standing there —

Lane: Where?

Rory: Doose’s Market.

Lane: He kissed you in the market?

Rory: On aisle three.

Lane: By the pest spray?

Rory: Yes.

Lane: Oh, that’s a good aisle.

Rory: What defines a good aisle

Lane: An aisle where you get kissed by the new kid is a good aisle.

Rory: Oh my God. I can’t breathe.

Lane: Ok, sit down.

Rory: No I can’t sit down. I’m too — Oh my God, He kissed me!

(Mrs. Kim appears out of nowhere)

Mrs. Kim: Who kissed you?

Lane: The Lord, Mama.

Mrs. Kim: Oh, Ok then.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 7 — “Kiss and Tell”

Quote of the Day

Luke: Hey, wrong table.

Rory: Since when is there a right table?

Luke: Since the coffee cake I baked for you and the stupid balloons I blew up are at that table, over there.

Rory: You blew up balloons for me?

Luke: Yep.

Rory: Oh, Luke, you old softie.

Luke: I count to three, it’s gone.

Rory: Thank you.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 6 — “Rory’s Birthday Parties”

Quote of the Day

Lorelai: You are of hardy stubborn stock, my dear. If there’s one thing I gave you, it’s my stubbornness.

Rory: I’m not stubborn. 

Lorelai: Yes you are.

Rory: No I’m not.

Lorelai: Fine you’re not.

Rory: Thank you.

Lorelai: You’re welcome.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 4 — “The Deer-Hunters”