Wash: We got it. It’s not pretty, but we can steer enough to turn the hell around.
Mal: Nice work, Kaylee.
Kaylee: Not soon enough to help.
Mal: Hey. Lot easier to pull things apart than it is put ’em right. You’re still the best mechanic floatin’.
(Mal kisses the top of Kaylee’s head.)
Wash: Captain, didn’t you know kissin’ girls makes you sleepy?
Mal: Well sometimes I just can’t help myself.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: Yeah but she had professional… So in my case, it was really… (to Book) You woulda kissed her, too.
Zoe: Wash didn’t.
Mal: But she was naked! And all… articulate!
Wash: Okay! Everybody not talking about sex, in here. Everybody else, elsewhere!
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: So, how’s about we get to work?
Kaylee: Hey. It was your big make-out session that got us into this, sir.
Mal: I was poisoned!
Inara: You were drugged.
Jayne: That’s why I never kiss ’em on the mouth.
(everyone stares)
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Saffron: Please? Show me the stars.
Wash: Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung [Holy mother of god and all her wacky nephews!] do I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not… married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinkie!
Saffron: I’ve been too forward.
Wash: No! Well, yes, but I actually like that in a woman. That’s part of why Zoe and I are, as recently mentioned, married.
Saffron: I thought she didn’t seem to respect you.
Wash: Not everybody gets me and Zoe at first glance.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Saffron: Do you know the myth of Earth-that-was?
Wash: Not so much.
Saffron: That when she was born, she had no sky, and was open, inviting. And the stars would rush into her, through the skin of her, making the oceans boil with sensation. And when she could endure no more ecstasy, she puffed up her cheeks and blew out the sky.
Wash: Whoa. Good myth.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: Listen, Saffron… it ain’t a question of pleasing me. It’s more a question of what’s, um, of what’s morally right.
Saffron: I do know my bible, sir. On the night of their betrothal the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow. He shall work in her again and again, til she bring him to his full. And rest him then upon the sweat of her breast.
Mal: Whoa. Good bible.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: Hey! You’re, uh… uh… well, there you are.
Saffron: I’ve made the bed warm for you.
Mal: It looks, uh, warm.
Saffron: And I’ve made myself ready for you.
Mal: Let’s ride right past the part where you explain exactly what that means. Didn’t you see you got a room of your own?
Saffron: And I’m to sleep there?
Mal: That’s the notion. Assuming you’re… yeah… sleepy.
Saffron: But we’ve been wed. Aren’t we to become one flesh?
Mal: Well, no, uh… We’re still two fleshes here, and I think that your flesh ought to sleep somewhere else.
Saffron: I’m sorry. When we talked I’d hoped, but I don’t —
(she lets the sheet that’s covering her fall)
Mal: (looking away) Whoa, hey! Flesh…
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Zoe: Clearly she’s out of her mind.
Wash: Well, she’s let a sheltered life.
Zoe: Did you see the way she grabbed that glass from you?
Wash: Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand to god. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled.
Zoe: Of course. The man rushes in to defend her.
Wash: I’m talking about geese.
Zoe: Captain shouldn’t be babysitting a damned groupie, and he knows it.
Wash: Okay, when did this become not funny?
Zoe: When you didn’t turn around and put her ass back down on Triumph where it belongs.
Wash: Oh, hey! Now it’s even my fault? Is there anything else on your mind that I should know about? There are all kinds of twists and cul de sacs. It’s wild!
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Jayne: There’s times I think you don’t take me seriously. I think that ought to change.
Mal: Do you think it’s likely to?
Jayne: You got something you don’t deserve.
Mal: And it’s brought me a galaxy of fun, I’m here to tell ya.
Jayne: Six men came to kill me one time. The best of ’em carried this. It’s a Callahan full-bore autolock. Customized trigger, double-cartridge thorough gauge… It is my very favorite gun. (holds it out to Mal)
Mal: …Dàxiàng bàozhà shì de lādùzi (“The explosive diarrhea of an elephant”), you offering me a trade?!
Jayne: A trade?! Hell, it’s theft. It’s the best damn gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It’s miles more worthy than what you got.
Mal: What I got? She has a name.
Jayne: So does this. I call it Vera.
Mal: Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.
Firefly – Episode 6 – “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Mal: You know what, you all are makin’ a big deal. I would appreciate it if someone on this boat would not assume that I’m an evil lecherous hun dan (bastard).
Zoe: Nobody’s saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we’re pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
The Love Pirate 