Willow: I mean, this time, it’s not your boyfriend who’s the cold-blooded… (Oz walks in) Jelly doughnut?
…
(later in the episode)
Giles: Our task now is to determine what sort of killer we *are* dealing with. Clearly, we’re looking for a depraved, sadistic animal.
Oz: (entering) Present. (Willow rushes over to him) Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing is impeccable.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 4 – “Beauty and the Beasts”
Giles: Right. It’s good to see you. Um, no need to panic.
Oz: Just a thought: poker: not your game.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 4 – “Beauty and the Beasts”
Giles: There’s a Watchers’ retreat every year in the Cotswolds. It’s a lovely spot. It’s very serene. There’s horse riding and hiking and punting and lectures and discussions. It-i-it’s… it’s a great honor to be invited. Or so I’m told.
Faith: Oh, it’s boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you.
Buffy: Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is *Giles*.
Faith: I see him. If I’d’ve known they came *that* young and cute, I would’ve requested a transfer.
Buffy: Raise your hand if ‘ew’.
Giles: Well, um, uh, leaving aside for a moment my, uh, youth and beauty, I’d-I’d say it was, um, fortuitous that Faith arrived when she did.
Willow: Aha! (They all look at her) Sorry. I just meant… aha! There’s big evil brewin’. You’ll never be bored here, Faith. ‘Cause this is Sunnydale, home of the big brewin’ evil.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 3 – “Faith, Hope & Trick”
Giles: Unbelievable. (mocks Joyce) ‘Do you like my mask? Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead!’ Americans.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 2 – “Dead Man’s Party”
Giles: So, no joy at the cemetery?
Willow: No, he got away. We still have some glitches in the system, like . . . vampires getting away. But I think we’re improving.
Giles: For God’s sake be careful. I mean, uh, I appreciate your efforts to keep the vampire population down until Buffy returns, but, uh . . . Well, if anything should happen to you and . . . you should be killed, I should take it somewhat amiss.
Willow: You’d be cranky?
Giles: Entirely.
Willow: Well, we try not to get killed. That’s part of our whole mission statement. ‘Don’t get killed.’
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 1 – “Anne”
Xander: Giles!
Giles: Xander?
Xander: Can you walk?
Giles: You’re not real.
Xander: Sure, I’m real.
Giles: It’s a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want.
Xander: Then why would they make you see me?
Giles: …………You’re right. Let’s go.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 22 – “Becoming (Part 2)”
Willow: So, we’re looking for a beastie.
Giles: That, uh, eats humans whole… except for the skin.
Buffy: This doesn’t make any sense.
Xander: Yeah. The skin’s the best part.
Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol? (points at Giles) You’re gonna think about that later, mister, and you’re gonna laugh.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 20 – “Go Fish”
Buffy: He wants forgiveness.
Giles: Yes. I imagine he does. But when James possesses people, they act out exactly what happened that night. So he’s experiencing a form of purgatory instead. I mean, he’s, he’s doomed to, to kill his Ms. Newman over and over and over again, and… forgiveness is impossible.
Buffy: Good. He doesn’t deserve it.
Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It’s, it’s not done because people deserve it. It’s done because they need it.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 19 – “I Only Have Eyes For You”
Willow: Xander, what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet?
Xander: You’re just a big bucket of funny, Will. I’ll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, um, locker monster.
Giles: Loch Ness Monster?
Buffy: ‘Locker’ monster is what he said. But it wasn’t really a monster. It was, like, this big arm that came out of the locker, but then we opened it again, it was gone. Nothing.
Xander: This was right after Buffy’s history teacher starts doing some freaky channeling thing in class.
Giles: Ooh! Sounds like paranormal phenomena.
Willow: A ghost? Cool!
Xander: Oh, no, no. No. No cool. This was no wimpy chain rattler. This was ‘I’m dead as hell, and I’m not gonna take it anymore.’
Giles: Well, despite the Xander-speak, that’s a fairly accurate definition of a poltergeist.
Xander: I defined something? Accurately? Guess I’m done with the book learning.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 19 – “I Only Have Eyes For You”
Cordelia: Eww, what does this do?
Giles: What?
Cordelia: What does this do?
Giles: Uh, it, uh, extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells.
Cordelia: Wow! What does this one do?
Giles: Um, i-it elongates its mouth to, uh, engulf its victim’s head with its incisors.
Cordelia: Ouch. Wait, what does this one do?
Giles: It asks endless questions of those with whom it’s supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.
Cordelia: Boy, there’s a demon for everything.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”
The Love Pirate 