Quote of the Day

Joyce: I’m uh, I’m just going to get you another pillow. 

Buffy: I really don’t need one. 

Joyce: But you need another blanket. 

Buffy: Uh, mom, I’m fine.  

Joyce: How about, some soup? Chicken and stars. 

Buffy: Mom, please, just come sit with me.

Joyce: I’ve uh, I’ve got laundry. 

Buffy: Why are you…? (reading Joyce’s mind) You had sex with Giles?!

(Joyce gasps) 


Joyce: It was the candy! We were teenagers! 

Buffy: On the hood of a police car?!? 

Joyce: I’ll be downstairs. You feel better. (runs away) 

Buffy: TWICE!?!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 18 — “Earshot”

Quote of the Day


Angel: Spike.

Joyce: Oh, my God. Get out of here!

Spike: Yeah. You’re not invited.

Joyce: He’s crazy. He’ll kill us.

Spike: Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don’t breathe.

Angel: Joyce, listen to me.

Joyce: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.

Spike: You’re a very bad man.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 8 — “Lovers Walk”

Quote of the Day


(Buffy is on the phone with her mom)

Buffy: That’s great, but now’s really not a good time…

Spike: (through the phone) Hello, Joyce.

(Buffy’s eyes widen in panic. Cut to…)

Spike: So I’m strolling through the park, looking for a meal, and I happen to walk by, and she’s making out with the chaos demon! And so I said, ‘You know, I don’t have to put up with this.’ And she said, ‘Fine!’ So I said, ‘Fine, do whatever you like!’ I mean, I thought we were going to make up, you know.

Joyce: Well, she sounds very unreasonable.

Spike: She is. She’s out of her mind. That’s what I miss most about her.

Joyce: Well, Spike, sometimes even when two people seem right for each other, their lives just take different paths. When Buffy’s father and I…

Spike: No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally…… (looks at his hot chocolate) You got any of those little marshmallows?

Joyce: Well, lemme look.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 8 – “Lovers Walk”

Quote of the Day


Buffy: So let me get this straight. I’m really back in school because the school board *overruled* you. Wow. That’s like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it.

Joyce: I think what my daughter’s trying to say is… Nyah-nyah-nyah nyah.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 3 – “Faith, Hope & Trick”

Quote of the Day


Giles: Unbelievable. (mocks Joyce) ‘Do you like my mask? Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead!’ Americans.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 2 – “Dead Man’s Party”

Quote of the Day


Joyce: Uh, look! It’s, uh, Nigerian. We got a very exciting shipment in at the Gallery. I, um, thought I’d hang a few pieces in here. It cheers up the room. 

Buffy: It’s angry at the room, Mom. It wants the room to suffer. 

Joyce: You have no appreciation of primitive art. You going out? 

Buffy: Oh. Um . . . well, i-if it’s okay. I, um . . . I’d like to find Willow and Xander. 

Joyce: Will you be slaying? 

Buffy: Only if they give me lip.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 2 – “Dead Man’s Party”

Quote of the Day


Buffy: I told you. I’m a Vampire Slayer. 

Joyce: Well, I just don’t accept that! 

Buffy: Open your eyes, Mom. What do you think has been going on for the past two years? The fights, the weird occurrences. How many times have you washed blood out of my clothing, and you still haven’t figured it out? 

Joyce: Well, it stops now! 

Buffy: No, it doesn’t stop! It *never* stops! Do-do you think I chose to be like this? Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous? I would *love* to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping about boys or… God, even studying! But I have to save the world… again.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 22 – “Becoming (Part 2)”

Quote of the Day


Buffy: All right, talk. What’s the deal?

Spike: Simple. You let me and Dru skip town, I help you kill Angel.

Joyce: Angel? Your boyfriend?

Buffy: Forget about Drusilla. She doesn’t walk.

Spike: There’s no deal without Dru.

Buffy: She killed Kendra.

Spike: Dru bagged a Slayer?! She didn’t tell me! Hey, good for her!

(Buffy stares at him)

Spike: Though not from your perspective, I suppose.

Buffy: I can’t believe I invited you into my house.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 22 – “Becoming (Part 2)”

Quote of the Day


Joyce: Have we met?

Spike: Um… you hit me with an ax one time. Remember? Uh, ‘get the hell away from my daughter.’

Joyce: Oh………………. So, do you, uh, live here in town?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 22 – “Becoming (Part 2)”

Quote of the Day


Buffy: Come on, Mom, please?

Joyce: I’m sorry, honey.

Buffy: Don’t you understand how important this is?

Joyce: It’s an outfit. An outfit that you may never buy.

Buffy: But I looked good in it.

Joyce: You looked like a streetwalker.

Buffy: But a thin streetwalker… That’s probably not gonna be the winning argument, is it?

Joyce: You’re just too young to wear that.

Buffy: Yeah, and I’m gonna be too young to wear it until I’m too old to wear it.

Joyce: That’s the idea.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 12 – “Bad Eggs”