Quote of the Day

Taylor: Damn motorcycles, they’re a scourge.

Rory: Yeah.

Lorelai: Yeah.

Taylor: They’re loud, they’re dangerous. We should ban them from town.

Lorelai: Maybe we should set up barricades and ban all unwelcome strangers from crossing the border.

Taylor: (excited) Well! (disappointed) Well, no we couldn’t do that, that would be illegal.

Lorelai: Darn laws.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

Lorelai: What’s going on?

Richard: Oh, your mother and I have just secured a place on Martha’s Vineyard.

Rory: Really, that’s great!

Lorelai: I thought you lost your old place.

Emily: We did. But this afternoon we found out that Arthur Roundtree had died.

Richard: He’d been drinking.

Emily: So we got on the phone and snatched that place up.

Richard: Oh, it’s a fine piece of property.

Emily: Much better than our usual place.

Lorelai: The both of you are going directly to hell, I hope you know that.

Richard: Well, at least we’ll be well rested.

Lorelai: Touché.

Gilmore Girls – Season 1: Episode 14 – “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

Lorelai: Hello?

Luke: 
Yeah.

Lorelai: 
Luke? Stella got out and I don’t know — do I put seed on the floor? Do I make cheeping sounds? Or do I pull a Lucy Ricardo and walk like a chicken so she thinks I’m her mother?

Luke: 
Who the hell is this?

Lorelai: 
What do you mean who is this? It’s Lorelai. Who else would call you looking for her baby chick?

Luke: 
You’re right. I’m the idiot. Go on.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

Rory: Can brains hurt?

Lorelai: Yes, it’s hypochondria hour.

Rory: No, I’m serious. Last night when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain.

Lorelai: Your brain pinged?

Rory: Yeah. It just went like “dink.”

Lorelai: Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn’t ping.

Rory: Well I don’t think a dinking brain is any less worrisome than a pinging brain.

Lorelai: Well, you got me there.

Rory: So should I go to a tumor doctor?

Lorelai: No, you don’t have a tumor. You’re reading too much. You’re probably just losing your eyesight.

Rory: Thank you.

Lorelai: You’re welcome.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

(Lorelai, Rory, and Dean are watching “The Donna Reed Show” with Rory and Lorelai making up their own dialogue.)

Lorelai: “You know, Daughter, there’s nothing more satisfying thatn washing windows — oh no!”

Rory: “What? Did I miss a spot?”

Lorelai: “No, I just had an impure thought about your father, Alex. Funny — I don’t know why I had it. It isn’t the second Saturday of the month.”

Rory: (as the father, Alex) “Hey, I heard you had an impure thought.”

Lorelai: “I must now sublimate all my impure thoughts by going into the kitchen and making an endless string of perfect casseroles.”

Dean: You’re not even listening to the dialogue.

Rory: Ours is better.

Dean: I don’t know — it all seems kind of nice to me.

Rory: What does?

Dean: Well, you know, families hanging together. I mean, a wife cooking dinner for her husband. And look — she seems really happy.

Lorelai: She’s medicated.

Rory: And acting from a script.

Lorelai: Written by a man.

Rory: Well said, Sister Suffragette.

Dean: What if she likes making doughnuts and dinner for her family and keeping things nice for them and —

(Rory and Lorelai stare at him.)

Dean: OK, I feel very unpopular right now.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”