Quote of the Day

Taylor: Damn motorcycles, they’re a scourge.

Rory: Yeah.

Lorelai: Yeah.

Taylor: They’re loud, they’re dangerous. We should ban them from town.

Lorelai: Maybe we should set up barricades and ban all unwelcome strangers from crossing the border.

Taylor: (excited) Well! (disappointed) Well, no we couldn’t do that, that would be illegal.

Lorelai: Darn laws.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

Lorelai: What’s going on?

Richard: Oh, your mother and I have just secured a place on Martha’s Vineyard.

Rory: Really, that’s great!

Lorelai: I thought you lost your old place.

Emily: We did. But this afternoon we found out that Arthur Roundtree had died.

Richard: He’d been drinking.

Emily: So we got on the phone and snatched that place up.

Richard: Oh, it’s a fine piece of property.

Emily: Much better than our usual place.

Lorelai: The both of you are going directly to hell, I hope you know that.

Richard: Well, at least we’ll be well rested.

Lorelai: Touché.

Gilmore Girls – Season 1: Episode 14 – “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

Lorelai: Hello?


Luke? Stella got out and I don’t know — do I put seed on the floor? Do I make cheeping sounds? Or do I pull a Lucy Ricardo and walk like a chicken so she thinks I’m her mother?

Who the hell is this?

What do you mean who is this? It’s Lorelai. Who else would call you looking for her baby chick?

You’re right. I’m the idiot. Go on.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

Rory: Can brains hurt?

Lorelai: Yes, it’s hypochondria hour.

Rory: No, I’m serious. Last night when I was reading my biology chapters I distinctly heard a ping in the vicinity of my brain.

Lorelai: Your brain pinged?

Rory: Yeah. It just went like “dink.”

Lorelai: Well then, honey, your brain dinked. It didn’t ping.

Rory: Well I don’t think a dinking brain is any less worrisome than a pinging brain.

Lorelai: Well, you got me there.

Rory: So should I go to a tumor doctor?

Lorelai: No, you don’t have a tumor. You’re reading too much. You’re probably just losing your eyesight.

Rory: Thank you.

Lorelai: You’re welcome.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”

Quote of the Day

(Lorelai, Rory, and Dean are watching “The Donna Reed Show” with Rory and Lorelai making up their own dialogue.)

Lorelai: “You know, Daughter, there’s nothing more satisfying thatn washing windows — oh no!”

Rory: “What? Did I miss a spot?”

Lorelai: “No, I just had an impure thought about your father, Alex. Funny — I don’t know why I had it. It isn’t the second Saturday of the month.”

Rory: (as the father, Alex) “Hey, I heard you had an impure thought.”

Lorelai: “I must now sublimate all my impure thoughts by going into the kitchen and making an endless string of perfect casseroles.”

Dean: You’re not even listening to the dialogue.

Rory: Ours is better.

Dean: I don’t know — it all seems kind of nice to me.

Rory: What does?

Dean: Well, you know, families hanging together. I mean, a wife cooking dinner for her husband. And look — she seems really happy.

Lorelai: She’s medicated.

Rory: And acting from a script.

Lorelai: Written by a man.

Rory: Well said, Sister Suffragette.

Dean: What if she likes making doughnuts and dinner for her family and keeping things nice for them and —

(Rory and Lorelai stare at him.)

Dean: OK, I feel very unpopular right now.

Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 14 — “That Damn Donna Reed”