Xander: You girls need a lift?
Buffy: What is this?
Xander: What do you mean, what is it? It’s my thing.
Willow: Your thing?
Xander: My thing!
Buffy: Is this a penis metaphor?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”
Xander: But… It’s just that it’s buggin’ me, this ‘cool’ thing. I mean, what is it? How do you get it? Who doesn’t have it? And who decides who doesn’t have it? What is the essence of cool?
Oz: Not sure.
Xander: I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why is that?
Oz: Am I?
Xander: Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?
Oz: Could be.
Xander: I know! You’re in a band! That’s like a business-class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff! I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?
Oz: Not the way I play it.
Xander: Okay, but on the other hand: eighth grade. I’m taking the flügelhorn and gettin’ zero trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. But you need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?
Oz: An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”
Buffy: Uh, what do we do with the trio here? Should we burn them?
Willow: I brought marshmallows!
(Everyone looks at her)
Willow: Occasionally, I’m callous and strange.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”
Xander: I’m good. We’re fine. Just a little bit dirty. Good show, everyone. Just great. I think we have a hit.
Willow: Are you okay?
Xander: Tip-top, really. If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it.
Buffy: Xander, one of these days, you’re gonna get yourself hurt.
Faith: Or killed.
Buffy: Or both. And, you know, with the pain and the death, maybe you shouldn’t be leaping into the fray like that. Maybe you should be… fray-adjacent.
Xander: Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?
Faith: Yeah. That was real manly how you shrieked and all.
Xander: I think you’ll find that was more of a bellow.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”
Buffy: Willow, you okay?
Willow: Yeah, I’m fine. Th-the shaking is, is a side effect of the fear.
Giles: Thank you.
Buffy: Well, if it wasn’t for that clouding spell…
Willow: Yeah, it went good! Nothing melted like last time!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”
Buffy: Before I was the Slayer, I was… Well, I, I don’t wanna say shallow, but… Let’s say a certain person, who will remain nameless, we’ll just call her Spordelia, looked like a classical philosopher next to me. Angel, if I’m not the Slayer, what do I do? What do I have to offer? Why would you like me?
Angel: I saw you before you became the Slayer.
Buffy: What?
Angel: I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps… and… and I loved you.
Buffy: Why?
Angel: ‘Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe… to warm it with my own.
Buffy: That’s beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross.
Angel: I was just thinking that, too.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 12 — “Helpless”
Cordelia: Wake up! (Cordy slaps Giles)
Giles: Cordelia?
Cordelia: Took you long enough to wake up. My hand hurts.
Giles: Pity. Oh… Why are you here?
Cordelia: Things are way out of control, Giles. First the thing at school, and then my mom confiscates all of my black clothes and scented candles. I came over here to tell Buffy to stop this craziness and found you all unconscious… again. How many times have you been knocked out, anyway? I swear, one of these times, you’re gonna wake up in a coma.
Giles: Wake up in a… Oh, never mind. We need to save Buffy from Hansel and Gretel.
Cordelia: Now, let’s be clear. The brain damage happened before I hit you.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 11 – “Gingerbread”
Buffy: My mom… said some things to me about being the Slayer. That it’s fruitless. No fruit for Buffy.
Angel: She’s wrong.
Buffy: Is she? Is Sunnydale any better than when I first came here? Okay, so I battle evil. But I don’t really win. The bad keeps coming back and getting stronger. Like that kid in the story, the boy that stuck his finger in the duck.
Angel: Dike. It’s another word for dam.
Buffy: Oh. Okay, that story makes a lot more sense now.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 11 — “Gingerbread”
Willow: Hey, Buff. What cha looking for? You wanna borrow something?
Buffy: What is this?
Willow: (nervously) A doodle. I do doodle. You, too! You do doodle, too!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 11 — “Gingerbread”
Xander: So, you doing anything special?
Buffy: Tree. Nog. Roast beast. Just me and Mom and hopefully an excess of gifts. What are you doing for Christmas?
Willow: Being Jewish. Remember, people? Not everybody worships Santa.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 10 — “Amends”
The Love Pirate 