Tag Archives: Joss Whedon

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Jayne: There’s times I think you don’t take me seriously. I think that ought to change.

Mal: Do you think it’s likely to?

Jayne: You got something you don’t deserve.

Mal: And it’s brought me a galaxy of fun, I’m here to tell ya.

Jayne: Six men came to kill me one time. The best of ’em carried this. It’s a Callahan full-bore autolock. Customized trigger, double-cartridge thorough gauge… It is my very favorite gun. (holds it out to Mal)

Mal: …Dàxiàng bàozhà shì de lādùzi (“The explosive diarrhea of an elephant”), you offering me a trade?!

Jayne: A trade?! Hell, it’s theft. It’s the best damn gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It’s miles more worthy than what you got.

Mal: What I got? She has a name.

Jayne: So does this. I call it Vera.

Mal: Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

Firefly – Episode 6 – “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

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Mal: You know what, you all are makin’ a big deal. I would appreciate it if someone on this boat would not assume that I’m an evil lecherous hun dan (bastard).

Zoe: Nobody’s saying that, sir.

Wash: Yeah, we’re pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly.

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

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Wash: Something smells good.

Zoe: Havin’ yourself a little supper, captain?

Mal: Well, Saffron insisted on… you know, I didn’t want to make her feel… it’s damn tasty!

Wash: Is there any more where that came from?

Saffron: I didn’t think to make enough for your friends. But everything’s laid out if you’d like to cook for your husband.

Wash: (laughs uncomfortably) Isn’t she quaint? I’m just not hungry.

Zoe: So, are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?

Mal: She wanted to make me dinner. At least she’s not cryin’.

Wash: I might! Did she really make fresh bao? (Zoe shoots him a look) Quaint!

Zoe: Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

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Mal: She’s a nice girl.

Book: Seems very anxious to please you.

Mal: Well, that’s their way, I guess.

Book: I suppose so… If you take sexual advantage of her, you’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

Mal: What — I am not… preacher, you got a smutty mind!

Book: Perhaps I spoke out of turn.

Mal: You may perhaps I’m thinking!

Book: I apologize. I’ll make her up a room in the passenger dorm.

Mal: Good.

(Book leaves, then pops his head back in a moment later.)

Book: The special hell.

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

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Saffron: Are you gonna kill me?

Mal: What?! What kind of crappy planet is that? Kill you?

Saffron: In the maiden’s home I heard talk of men who weren’t pleased with their brides —

Mal: Well I ain’t them! And don’t you ever stand for that sort of thing. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back! Look, wife or no, you are no one’s property to be tossed aside. You got the right same as anyone to live and try to kill people. I mean, you know… people that are… That’s a dumb planet.

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

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Mal: I’m sorry. You have very nice qualities, but I didn’t ever marry you.

Book: I believe you did. Last night.

Mal: (goes over to Jayne) How drunk was I last night?

Jayne: Well I dunno. I passed out.

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

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Mal: She’s no one!

(Saffron bursts into tears)

Kaylee: Captain!

Mal: (to Saffron) Would you stop that?

Saffron: I’m sorry.

Mal: You brute.

Kaylee: Hey, sweetie. Don’t feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He’s like a monster.

Mal: I’m not a monster!

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

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Book: Who’s the new recruit?

Zoe: Everybody, I want you all to meet… Mrs. Reynolds.

Kaylee: You got married?!

Simon: Well, that’s, uh… Congratulations.

Wash: We’d always hoped you two kids would get together… Who is she?

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

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Mal: Zoe, would you get Wash?

Zoe: (on the intercom) This is Zoe. We need all personnel in the cargo bay.

Mal: Whoa, whoa. I said Wash.

Zoe: Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss.

Mal: There’s-there’s no bliss! I don’t know this girl!

Jayne: Then can I know her?

Zoe: Jayne! Don’t sully this.

Mal: You are gonna be cleaning latrines with your face you don’t knock that off.

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”

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Mal: Zoe, why do I have a wife?

Jayne: You got a wife? All I got is that dumbass stick sounds like it’s raining. How come you got a wife?

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”