Angel: Spike.
Joyce: Oh, my God. Get out of here!
Spike: Yeah. You’re not invited.
Joyce: He’s crazy. He’ll kill us.
Spike: Not while I breathe. Well, actually, I don’t breathe.
Angel: Joyce, listen to me.
Joyce: You get out of this house, or I will stake you myself.
Spike: You’re a very bad man.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 8 — “Lovers Walk”
(Buffy is on the phone with her mom)
Buffy: That’s great, but now’s really not a good time…
Spike: (through the phone) Hello, Joyce.
(Buffy’s eyes widen in panic. Cut to…)
Spike: So I’m strolling through the park, looking for a meal, and I happen to walk by, and she’s making out with the chaos demon! And so I said, ‘You know, I don’t have to put up with this.’ And she said, ‘Fine!’ So I said, ‘Fine, do whatever you like!’ I mean, I thought we were going to make up, you know.
Joyce: Well, she sounds very unreasonable.
Spike: She is. She’s out of her mind. That’s what I miss most about her.
Joyce: Well, Spike, sometimes even when two people seem right for each other, their lives just take different paths. When Buffy’s father and I…
Spike: No, this is different. Our love was eternal. Literally…… (looks at his hot chocolate) You got any of those little marshmallows?
Joyce: Well, lemme look.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 8 – “Lovers Walk”
Giles: Here. I suspect your mother will want to, uh, put it on the refrigerator.
Buffy: Yeah. She saw these scores, and her head spun around and exploded.
Giles: I-I’ve been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?
Buffy: Yes. She was happy.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 8 — “Lovers Walk”
Oz: (about Willow’s SAT score) Well, I can see why you’d be upset. (Willow looks hurt) That was my sarcastic voice.
Xander: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
Oz: I’ve been told that.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 8 – “Lover’s Walk”
Giles: He’s lying! Hit him!
Buffy: I don’t think he is, and shut up.
Giles: You’re *my* slayer, go knock his teeth down his…
Buffy: Giles! (to Ethan) What demon?
Ethan: I don’t remember.
(Buffy punches Ethan)
Giles: Yes!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 6 – “Band Candy”
Xander: I don’t get this. The candy’s supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I’ve had a ton, and I don’t feel any dif… Never mind.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 6 – “Band Candy”
Snyder: Whoa, Summers! You drive like a spaz!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 6 – “Band Candy”
Buffy: Yes, you are. We are gonna get out of here, and we are gonna head back to the library, where Giles and the rest of the weapons live. Then I’m gonna take out the rest of these guys just in time for you to congratulate me on my sweeping victory as Homecoming Queen.
Cordelia: I know what you’re up to. You think if you get me mad enough, I won’t be so scared. And, hey! It’s working! Where’s a damn weapon?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 5 – “Homecoming”
Giles: We have to find Buffy. Something terrible’s happened. Just kidding. Thought I’d give you a scare. Are those finger sandwiches?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 5 – “Homecoming”
Willow: I mean, this time, it’s not your boyfriend who’s the cold-blooded… (Oz walks in) Jelly doughnut?
…
(later in the episode)
Giles: Our task now is to determine what sort of killer we *are* dealing with. Clearly, we’re looking for a depraved, sadistic animal.
Oz: (entering) Present. (Willow rushes over to him) Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing is impeccable.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 3: Episode 4 – “Beauty and the Beasts”
The Love Pirate 