Tag Archives: BtVS

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Buffy: Come on, Mom, please?

Joyce: I’m sorry, honey.

Buffy: Don’t you understand how important this is?

Joyce: It’s an outfit. An outfit that you may never buy.

Buffy: But I looked good in it.

Joyce: You looked like a streetwalker.

Buffy: But a thin streetwalker… That’s probably not gonna be the winning argument, is it?

Joyce: You’re just too young to wear that.

Buffy: Yeah, and I’m gonna be too young to wear it until I’m too old to wear it.

Joyce: That’s the idea.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 12 – “Bad Eggs”

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Giles:  Whatever the authorities have planned for her, it can’t be much worse than what she’s doing to herself. She’s taken a human life. The guilt, it-it’s, it’s pretty hard to bear, and it won’t go away soon.

Cordelia:  I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time?

Giles:  Yes. Do let’s bring that up as often as possible.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”

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Cordelia:  I don’t get it. Buffy’s the Slayer. Shouldn’t she have…

Xander:  What, a license to kill?

Cordelia:  Well, not for fun. But she’s like this superman. Shouldn’t there be different rules for her?

Willow:  Sure, in a fascist society.

Cordelia:  Right! Why can’t we have one of those?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”

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Xander:  Having issues much?

Buffy:  I am not!

Xander:  You’re having parental issues, you’re having parental issues…

Willow:  Xander…

Xander:  What? Freud would’ve said the exact same thing. Except he might not have done that little dance.


Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”

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Buffy:  I’m just saying there’s something a little too clean about this clown.
Willow:  (giggles) He’s a clean clown! (gets stares from the others) I have my own fun.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”

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Buffy:  Vampires are creeps.
Giles:  Yes, that’s why one slays them.
Buffy:  I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come, and they run around and they kill people, and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini pizzas, and everyone’s like, ‘I like your mini pizzas,’ but I’m telling you, I am…
Giles:  Uh, uh, Buffy! I-I believe the… subtext here is, is, rapidly becoming, uh, uh, text.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”


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Oz:  Oh, hey! Animal cracker?

Willow:  No, thank you. How’s your arm?

Oz:  Suddenly painless.

Willow:  You can still play the guitar okay?

Oz:  Oh, not well, but not worse.

Willow:  Y’know, I never really thanked you.

Oz:  Ooo, yeah, please don’t. I don’t do thanks. I get all red. Have to bail. It’s not pretty.

Willow:  Well, then forget that thing. E-especially with the part where I kind of owe you my life.

Oz:  Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.

Willow:  Yeah, I-I see!

Oz:  The monkey’s the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that?

[Willow smiles.]

Oz:  You have the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen… So, I’m wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, ‘Hey, man, where are *my* pants? I have my hippo dignity!’ And you know the monkey’s just, ‘I mock you with my monkey pants!’ And there’s a big coup in the zoo.

Willow:  The monkey is French?

Oz:  All monkeys are French. You didn’t know that?

Willow:  No.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”

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Buffy:  Switch!

Spike:  I’d rather be fightin’ you anyway.

Buffy:  Mutual.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”

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Spike:  Who the hell is this?!

Buffy:  It’s your lucky day, Spike.

Kendra:  Two Slayers!

Buffy:  No waiting!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”

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Giles:  There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little excessive.

Willow:  It’s the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”