Inara: So, explain to me again why Zoe wasn’t in the dress?
Mal: Tactics, woman. Needed her in the back. ‘Sides, those soft cotton dresses feel kinda nice. It’s the whole… air-flow.
Inara: And you’d know that because…?
Mal: You can’t open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I’m a mystery.
Inara: Let’s keep it that way. I withdraw the question.
Firefly —Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Chekov: Give us some more blood, Chekov. The needle won’t hurt, Chekov. Take off your shirt, Chekov. Roll over, Chekov. Breathe deeply, Chekov. Blood sample, Chekov. Marrow sample, Chekov. Skin sample, Chekov. If I live long enough, I’m going to run out of samples.
Sulu: You’ll live.
Chekov: Oh, yes. I’ll live, but I won’t enjoy it.
Star Trek — Season 2: Episode 11 — “The Deadly Years”
Wesley: You’re not helping.
Giles: No. I feel just sick about it.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 14 — “Bad Girls”
Rory: Maybe you could come with me.
Lorelai: Oh, is there a “you’re crazy” team? ‘Cause I think they’d make you captain.
Rory: Please?Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I’d rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I’d rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don’t stop me, I’m on a roll. I’d rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I’d rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would ya? Thanks. I’d rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you…
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 3 — “Kill Me Now”
Bandit: Pardon me for intruding, but I believe y’all carrying something of mine.
Jayne: T’ain’t your’n!
Bandit: Did you think we wouldn’t find out you changed your route? You gonna give us what due us, and every damn thing else on that boat. And I think maybe you’re gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus.
Jayne: Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.
Mal: How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?
Jayne: If I could make you purtier, I would.
Mal: You are not the man I met a year ago.
(Mal and Jayne draw their guns)
Mal: Now think real hard. You been bird-dogging this township a while now. They wouldn’t mind a corpse of you. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty flowered bonnet, I will end you.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
The Love Pirate 