Lorelai: Please, Luke. Please, please, please.
Luke: How many cups have you had this morning?
Lorelai: None.
Luke: Plus…
Lorelai: Five, but yours is better.
Luke: You have a problem.
Lorelai: Yes, I do.
(Luke fills her cup)
Luke: Junkie.
Lorelai: Angel. You’ve got wings, baby.
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 1 — “Pilot”
(Jayne is going through Simon’s things, and stops to “read” from his diary.)
Jayne: “Dear Diary, Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy.” (flips page) “Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.”
Firefly — Episode 5 — “Safe”
Kirk: You were actually enjoying my predicament back there. At times, you seem quite human.
Spock: Captain, I hardly believe that insults are within your prerogative as my commanding officer.
Kirk: Sorry.
Star Trek — Season 1: Episode 28 — “The City on the Edge of Forever”
Xander: You girls need a lift?
Buffy: What is this?
Xander: What do you mean, what is it? It’s my thing.
Willow: Your thing?
Xander: My thing!
Buffy: Is this a penis metaphor?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”
Mal: Hey. Stay with me, Shepherd.
Book: That’s… that’s quite a lot of blood, isn’t it?
Mal: Just means you ain’t dead.
Book: Afraid I might be needing a preacher.
Mal: That’s good. You lie there and be ironical.
Firefly — Episode 5 — “Safe”
Spock: A time portal, Captain. A gateway to other times and dimensions, if I’m correct.
Guardian: As correct as possible for you. Your science knowledge is obviously primitive.
Spock: Really?
Kirk: Annoyed, Spock?
Star Trek — Season 1: Episode 28 — “The City on the Edge of Forever”
Xander: But… It’s just that it’s buggin’ me, this ‘cool’ thing. I mean, what is it? How do you get it? Who doesn’t have it? And who decides who doesn’t have it? What is the essence of cool?
Oz: Not sure.
Xander: I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why is that?
Oz: Am I?
Xander: Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?
Oz: Could be.
Xander: I know! You’re in a band! That’s like a business-class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff! I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?
Oz: Not the way I play it.
Xander: Okay, but on the other hand: eighth grade. I’m taking the flügelhorn and gettin’ zero trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. But you need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?
Oz: An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 13 — “The Zeppo”
Stephen came on deck reflecting with satisfaction upon his sloth, now a parlour-boarder with the Irish Franciscans at Rio, and a secret drinker of the altar-wine.
HMS Surprise – Patrick O’Brian
The Love Pirate 