Harrow: Whom do you represent?
Mal: “Represent” isn’t exactly the…
Harrow: Don’t waste my time.
Mal: Fellow called Badger.
Harrow: I know him. And I think he’s a psychotic low-life.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic low-life community.
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
Zoe: I thought you wanted to spend more time off-ship this visit.
Wash: Out there is seems like it’s all fancy parties. I like our party better. The dress code is easier and I know all the steps.
Zoe: I’d say you do at that.
Wash: Don’t fall asleep now. Sleepiness is weakness of character. Ask anyone.
Zoe: It is not.
Wash: You’re acting captain. Know what happens you fall asleep now?
Zoe: Jayne slits my throat and takes over.
Wash: That’s right.
Zoe: And we can’t stop it.
Wash: Well, I wash my hands of it. It’s a hopeless case. I’ll read a nice poem at the funeral. Something with imagery.
Zoe: You could lock the door and keep the power-hungry maniac at bay.
Wash: Oh, no, I’m starting to like this poetry idea now. “Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower, somewhat less attractive now she’s all corpsified and gross…”
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
Mal: Okay, help me find our man. He’s supposed to be old, kinda stocky, wears a red sash crossways.
Kaylee: Why does he do that?
Mal: Maybe he won the Miss Persephone Pageant. Just help me look.
Kaylee: (pointing) Is that him?
Mal: That’s the buffet table.
Kaylee: Well how can we be sure, unless we question it?
Mal: Fine. Don’t make yourself sick.
Kaylee: Oh, xiè xiè [“thank you”], Captain.
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
Mal: Does.. um.. does this seem kind of tight?
Kaylee: Shows off your backside. Did you see the chandelier? It’s hovering!
Mal: What’s the point of that, I wonder?
Kaylee: Oh! Mangoes!
Mal: I mean, I see how they did it. I just ain’t getting the why.
Kaylee: These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I — how about that?
Mal: Yeah, well, just be careful. We cheated Badger out of good money to buy that frippery, and you’re supposed to make me look respectable.
Kaylee: Yes, sir, Captain Tightpants.
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
Badger: He won’t deal with me direct. He’s taken an irrational dislike.
Jayne: What happened? He see your face?
Badger: He’s a quality gent. Nose in the air like he never wun gwo pee [“smelled a fart”]. Don’t find me respectable. But you, now I figure you got a chance.
Mal: You backed out of a deal last time. Left us hanging.
Jayne: Hurt our feelings.
Mal: You recall why that took place?
Badger: Had a problem with your attitude is why. Felt you was… what’s the word?
Jayne: Pretentious?
(Mal gives Jayne a confused/surprised look)
Badger: Exactly! You think you’re better than other people.
Mal: Just the ones I’m better than.
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
Kaylee: The only place I seen somethin’ so nice is some of the things Inara has.
Mal: Well, we best be movin’.
Zoe: I guess she needs all that stuff, the life she leads.
Kaylee: Well, sure. Sometimes the customers buy her things. Some real rich men.
Mal: Come on! These ain’t feathers I’m toting here, ya know?
Kaylee: I like the ruffles. Inara gets to wear whatever she wants.
Mal: What are you going to do in that rig? Flounce around the engine room? Be like a sheep walking on its hind legs.
(Kaylee walks off, hurt. Zoe gives Mal a death stare and takes his bag from him.)
Zoe: See you on the ship, Captain.
(Zoe, Wash and Kaylee board the mule and leave.)
Jayne: Is she mad or something?
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
Kaylee: Oh, look at the pretties!
Wash: What am I looking at, the girls or the clothes?
Jayne: There’s girls?
Zoe: The clothes, please.
Kaylee: Say, look at the fluffy one.
Zoe: Too much foofaraw. If I’m going to wear a dress, I’d want something with some slink.
Wash: You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?
Jayne: I’ll chip in.
Zoe: I can hurt you.
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
Inara: Good afternoon, Captain.
Mal: Morning. We’re downing, and in case that Wash don’t kill us all, local time’s going to be in the a.m., 10 or so.
Inara: Yes, I saw that.
Mal: Making plans? “Atherton Wing”. He’s a regular, ain’t he?
Inara: I’ve seen him before.
Mal: Oh, I never did. Not what I pictured – young. Must be rich too, to afford your rates.
Inara: I suppose. He has engaged me for several days.
Mal: Days!? Boy must have stamina.
Inara: (smiling) He does.
Mal: Well…fine. Is he letting you out at all?
Inara: Actually, we’re attending a ball tomorrow night.
Mal: Tell me, do all the men there pay for their dates, or just the young rich ones with stamina?
Inara: Most of the women in there will not be Companions, if that’s what you’re asking. Perhaps the other men couldn’t attract one.
Mal: Hmm. It’s sounds like the finest party I can imagine getting paid to go to.
Inara: I don’t suppose you’d find it up to standards of your outings. More conversation and somewhat less petty theft and getting hit with pool cues. (dismissing him) I understand if you need to go prepare for that “It’s 10 in the morning” issue.
Mal: Yeah. Better go do that. ‘Cause I think this is more of an evening look.
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
Wash: Seem to you we cleared out of Santo in a hurry?
Zoe: Seems we do that a lot. Heard tell though, we’re going to stay a while on Persephone.
Wash: Shiny.
Zoe: Yeah? Thought you’d get land crazy that long in port.
Wash: Probably, but I’ve been sane a long while now, and change is good.
Mal: (entering the bridge) Well, ain’t that a joyful sight?
Wash: Gotta love a sunset.
Zoe: Starting to get familiar too, like a second home.
Mal: Persephone ain’t home. Too many people we got to avoid. Re-supply, look for work, move along. Sniff the air, we don’t kiss the dirt.
Zoe: Wasn’t planning on the dirt-kissing, sir.
Wash: Besides, I wouldn’t stand for it anyway, Captain, jealous man like me. (alarm sounds) Closing in.
Zoe: Planet’s coming up a mite fast.
Wash: That’s just cause, I’m going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all.
Mal: Well, that happens, let me know.
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
Mal: There’s a chance you might want to head back to the ship.
Inara: Oh, I’m all right. This is entertaining, actually.
Mal: Yeah? What’s entertaining?
Inara: I like watching the game. As with other situations, the key seems to be giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back.
Mal: Still, might ought to clear out before too much longer. Seems there’s a thief about.
Inara: A thief?
Mal: Took this right off him. (hands Inara stolen money) Now they earned that with the sweat of their slave-trading brows.
Inara: Mal…
Mal: Aw, terrible shame. Course they won’t discover it till they go order their next round of drinks.
Wright: (in Chinese, grabbing Mal’s shoulder) Way! [“Hey!”]
Mal: Good drinker, that one.
(a fight breaks out)
Inara: (to the bartender) Lovely place, I’ll tell my friends.
Firefly – Episode 4 – “Shindig”
The Love Pirate 