Xander: Whoa. Whoa! I… I think I’m having a thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s a thought. Now I’m having a plan.
(The lights suddenly go out.)
Xander: Now I’m having a wiggins.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 14 – “Innocence”
Willow: Are you okay?
Oz: Yeah. Hey, did everybody see that guy just turn to dust?
Willow: Uh, well, uh… sort of.
Xander: Yep. Vampires are real. A lot of them live in Sunnydale. Willow will fill you in.
Willow: I know it’s hard to accept at first.
Oz: Actually, it explains a *lot*.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 3: Episode 13 – “Surprise”
Oz: I’m gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night. And I’m kinda nervous about it, actually. It’s interesting.
Willow: Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I’m gonna say yes.
Oz: Yeah, it helps. It-it creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?
Willow: Oh! I can’t!
Oz: Well, see, I like that you’re unpredictable.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 13 – “Surprise”
(Xander drops his egg)
Willow: It didn’t break! How come it didn’t break?
Xander: Which is another secret to conscientious egg care: pot of scalding water and about eight minutes.
Willow: You boiled your young?
Xander: Yeah! I know it sounds cruel, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind! I mean, you can bet that little Xander here is thick skinned now.
Giles: Technically that would be cheating, yes?
Xander: No! It’s like a short cut. You know, when you run a race?
Buffy: That would also be cheating.
Willow: You should be ashamed.
Giles: I suppose there is a sort of… Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression.
Xander: I resent that! Or possibly thank you.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 12 – “Bad Eggs”
Willow: Buffy! How come you weren’t in class?
Buffy: Vampire issues. Did Mr. Whitmore notice I was tardy?
Xander: I think the word you’re searching for is ‘absent’.
Willow: Tardy people show.
Buffy: Right.
Willow: And, yes, he did notice, so he wanted me to give you this.
(hands her an egg)
Buffy: As far as punishments go this is fairly abstract.
Willow: No, it’s your baby!
Buffy: Okay, I get it even less.
Xander: Well, you know, it’s the whole ‘sex leads to responsibility’ thing, which I personally don’t get. You gotta take care of the egg. It’s a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values.
Willow: My egg is Jewish.
Xander: Then teach it that Dreidel song.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 12 – “Bad Eggs”
Buffy: Come on, Mom, please?
Joyce: I’m sorry, honey.
Buffy: Don’t you understand how important this is?
Joyce: It’s an outfit. An outfit that you may never buy.
Buffy: But I looked good in it.
Joyce: You looked like a streetwalker.
Buffy: But a thin streetwalker… That’s probably not gonna be the winning argument, is it?
Joyce: You’re just too young to wear that.
Buffy: Yeah, and I’m gonna be too young to wear it until I’m too old to wear it.
Joyce: That’s the idea.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 12 – “Bad Eggs”
Giles: Whatever the authorities have planned for her, it can’t be much worse than what she’s doing to herself. She’s taken a human life. The guilt, it-it’s, it’s pretty hard to bear, and it won’t go away soon.
Cordelia: I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time?
Giles: Yes. Do let’s bring that up as often as possible.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”
Cordelia: I don’t get it. Buffy’s the Slayer. Shouldn’t she have…
Xander: What, a license to kill?
Cordelia: Well, not for fun. But she’s like this superman. Shouldn’t there be different rules for her?
Willow: Sure, in a fascist society.
Cordelia: Right! Why can’t we have one of those?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”
Xander: Having issues much?
Buffy: I am not!
Xander: You’re having parental issues, you’re having parental issues…
Willow: Xander…
Xander: What? Freud would’ve said the exact same thing. Except he might not have done that little dance.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”
Buffy: I’m just saying there’s something a little too clean about this clown.
Willow: (giggles) He’s a clean clown! (gets stares from the others) I have my own fun.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”
The Love Pirate 