Tag Archives: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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Buffy: What do you want?

Spike: I told you. I want to stop Angel. I want to save the world.

Buffy: Okay. You do remember that you’re a vampire, right?

Spike: We like to talk big, vampires do. ‘I’m going to destroy the world.’ That’s just tough guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You’ve got… dog racing, Manchester United. And you’ve got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It’s all right here.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 22 – “Becoming (Part 2)”

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Kendra: Here… In case de curse does not succeed, dis is my lucky stake. I have killed many vampires wit it. I call it Mr. Pointy. 

Buffy: You named your stake? 

Kendra: Yes. 

Buffy: Remind me to get you a stuffed animal.

Buffy the Vamipire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 21 – “Becoming (Part 1)”

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Buffy: You know, polite people call before they jump out of the bushes and attack you.

Kendra: Just wanted to test your reflexes.

Buffy: How about testing my face-punching? ‘Cause I think you’ll find it’s improved.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 21 – “Becoming (Part 1)”

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Snyder: And you! Are we having a chair shortage?

Willow: I didn’t read anything about… Oh. (slides off of Oz’s lap and into her chair) I get it.

Snyder: These public displays of affection are not acceptable in my school. This isn’t an orgy, people. It’s a classroom.

Buffy: Yeah! Where they teach lunch.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 21 – “Becoming (Part 1)”

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Willow: So, we’re looking for a beastie.

Giles: That, uh, eats humans whole… except for the skin.

Buffy: This doesn’t make any sense.

Xander: Yeah. The skin’s the best part.

Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol? (points at Giles) You’re gonna think about that later, mister, and you’re gonna laugh.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 20 – “Go Fish”

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Buffy: He wants forgiveness.

Giles: Yes. I imagine he does. But when James possesses people, they act out exactly what happened that night. So he’s experiencing a form of purgatory instead. I mean, he’s, he’s doomed to, to kill his Ms. Newman over and over and over again, and… forgiveness is impossible.

Buffy: Good. He doesn’t deserve it.

Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It’s, it’s not done because people deserve it. It’s done because they need it.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 19 – “I Only Have Eyes For You”

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Willow: Xander, what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet?

Xander: You’re just a big bucket of funny, Will. I’ll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, um, locker monster.

Giles: Loch Ness Monster?

Buffy: ‘Locker’ monster is what he said. But it wasn’t really a monster. It was, like, this big arm that came out of the locker, but then we opened it again, it was gone. Nothing.

Xander: This was right after Buffy’s history teacher starts doing some freaky channeling thing in class.

Giles: Ooh! Sounds like paranormal phenomena.

Willow: A ghost? Cool!

Xander: Oh, no, no. No. No cool. This was no wimpy chain rattler. This was ‘I’m dead as hell, and I’m not gonna take it anymore.’

Giles: Well, despite the Xander-speak, that’s a fairly accurate definition of a poltergeist.

Xander: I defined something? Accurately? Guess I’m done with the book learning.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 19 – “I Only Have Eyes For You”

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Cordelia: Eww, what does this do?

Giles: What?

Cordelia: What does this do?

Giles: Uh, it, uh, extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells.

Cordelia: Wow! What does this one do?

Giles: Um, i-it elongates its mouth to, uh, engulf its victim’s head with its incisors.

Cordelia: Ouch. Wait, what does this one do?

Giles: It asks endless questions of those with whom it’s supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.

Cordelia: Boy, there’s a demon for everything.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”

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Xander: Finding out who this thing is takes priority. Cordy, you should go with Giles. 

Giles: Why do I have to have…? (looks at Cordelia) Uh, good thinking. I-I-I could do with a research assistant. 

Cordelia: Let’s go, tact-guy.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”

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Willow: Oh, yeah, I’m good at medical stuff since Xander and I used to play doctor all the time.

Xander: No, she’s being literal. She used to have all these medical volumes, uh, and diagnosed me with stuff. I didn’t have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong.

Willow: Wrong? Why? (to Buffy) How did *you* play doctor?

Buffy: (evasively) I never have.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”