Snyder: And you! Are we having a chair shortage?
Willow: I didn’t read anything about… Oh. (slides off of Oz’s lap and into her chair) I get it.
Snyder: These public displays of affection are not acceptable in my school. This isn’t an orgy, people. It’s a classroom.
Buffy: Yeah! Where they teach lunch.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 21 – “Becoming (Part 1)”
Willow: So, we’re looking for a beastie.
Giles: That, uh, eats humans whole… except for the skin.
Buffy: This doesn’t make any sense.
Xander: Yeah. The skin’s the best part.
Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol? (points at Giles) You’re gonna think about that later, mister, and you’re gonna laugh.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 20 – “Go Fish”
Buffy: He wants forgiveness.
Giles: Yes. I imagine he does. But when James possesses people, they act out exactly what happened that night. So he’s experiencing a form of purgatory instead. I mean, he’s, he’s doomed to, to kill his Ms. Newman over and over and over again, and… forgiveness is impossible.
Buffy: Good. He doesn’t deserve it.
Giles: To forgive is an act of compassion, Buffy. It’s, it’s not done because people deserve it. It’s done because they need it.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 19 – “I Only Have Eyes For You”
Willow: Xander, what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet?
Xander: You’re just a big bucket of funny, Will. I’ll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, um, locker monster.
Giles: Loch Ness Monster?
Buffy: ‘Locker’ monster is what he said. But it wasn’t really a monster. It was, like, this big arm that came out of the locker, but then we opened it again, it was gone. Nothing.
Xander: This was right after Buffy’s history teacher starts doing some freaky channeling thing in class.
Giles: Ooh! Sounds like paranormal phenomena.
Willow: A ghost? Cool!
Xander: Oh, no, no. No. No cool. This was no wimpy chain rattler. This was ‘I’m dead as hell, and I’m not gonna take it anymore.’
Giles: Well, despite the Xander-speak, that’s a fairly accurate definition of a poltergeist.
Xander: I defined something? Accurately? Guess I’m done with the book learning.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 19 – “I Only Have Eyes For You”
Cordelia: Eww, what does this do?
Giles: What?
Cordelia: What does this do?
Giles: Uh, it, uh, extracts vital organs to replenish its own mutating cells.
Cordelia: Wow! What does this one do?
Giles: Um, i-it elongates its mouth to, uh, engulf its victim’s head with its incisors.
Cordelia: Ouch. Wait, what does this one do?
Giles: It asks endless questions of those with whom it’s supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done.
Cordelia: Boy, there’s a demon for everything.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”
Xander: Finding out who this thing is takes priority. Cordy, you should go with Giles.
Giles: Why do I have to have…? (looks at Cordelia) Uh, good thinking. I-I-I could do with a research assistant.
Cordelia: Let’s go, tact-guy.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”
Willow: Oh, yeah, I’m good at medical stuff since Xander and I used to play doctor all the time.
Xander: No, she’s being literal. She used to have all these medical volumes, uh, and diagnosed me with stuff. I didn’t have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong.
Willow: Wrong? Why? (to Buffy) How did *you* play doctor?
Buffy: (evasively) I never have.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”
Giles: Saw what?
Buffy: Death.
Cordelia: Death?
Willow: The Death? As in, ‘It is your time’?
Giles: Buffy, a-a-a frightened child…
Buffy: Yeah, but I thought I saw something. I’m not sure, I was really out of it, but…
Cordelia: But you do know that you saw death.
Willow: Did it have an hourglass?
Xander: Ooo, if he asks you to play chess, don’t even do it. The guy’s, like, a whiz.
Buffy: Maybe it wasn’t death. Maybe it was something else.
Cordelia: So this isn’t about you being afraid of hospitals ’cause your friend died and you wanna conjure up a monster that you can fight so you can save everybody and not feel so helpless?
Giles: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
Cordelia: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I’ll pass.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”
Xander: Flowers for milady.
Buffy: I think they call those balloons.
Xander: Yeah, stick ’em in water, maybe they’ll grow.
Willow: Not to be outdone…
Buffy: Homework!
Willow: It’s my way of saying, ‘get well soon’.
Buffy: You know, chocolate says that even better.
Willow: I did all your assignments. All you have to do is sign your name.
Buffy: Chocolate means nothing to me.
Cordelia: Nobody told me I was supposed to bring a gift. I was out of the loop on gifts.
Giles: It’s, it’s tradition among, um… people.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death
Giles: The ritual go all right?
Willow: Oh, yeah. It went fine. Well, it went fine until Angel showed up and told Buffy’s mom that he and Buffy had… Well, you know, that they had… you know. You do know, right?
Giles: Oh, yes. Yes. Sorry.
Willow: Oh, good, ’cause I just realized that being a librarian and all, you maybe didn’t know.
Giles: Oh, thank you. I got it.
Willow: You would have been proud of her, though. She totally kept her cool…….. Okay, well, I’ll tell Buffy you stopped by.
Giles: Would you, um… Perhaps I should intervene on, on Buffy’s behalf w-w-with her mother. Um, maybe… say something?
Willow: Sure! Like, what would you say?
Giles: W… Uh… (Willow opens the door for him.) You will tell Buffy I dropped by?
Willow: You bet.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 17 – “Passion”
The Love Pirate 