Quote of the Day

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Mal: Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance. You bring it back to him, tell him the job didn’t work out. We’re not thieves–but we are thieves. Point is we’re not takin’ what’s his. Now we’ll stay out of his way the best we can from here on in. You explain that that’s best for everyone, okay?

Crow: Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn’t matter where you go, or how far you fly. I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my blade.

Mal: Darn.

(Mal kicks Crow into the engine intakes and lines up the next Henchman.)

Mal: Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance.

Henchman: Oh, I get it. I’m good. Best thing for everyone. I’m right there with you.

Firefly – Episode 2 – “The Train Job”

Quote of the Day

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Mal: What the hell?

(Inara punches him.)

Inara: Don’t you dare speak to me. Sheriff, I want this man bound by law at once. That’s assuming he hasn’t been already?

Sheriff: No one’s been bound, not yet.

Inara: Thank God you stopped them. (to Mal) Did you honestly think you could access my accounts and I wouldn’t find you? And Zoe, what would your husband say if he knew you were here?

Zoe: I… I was weak.

Sheriff: So I take it they ain’t newlyweds?

Inara: Hardly. Malcolm’s my indentured man, with three years left on his debt. I imagine we’ll have to add another six months after this little adventure.

Sheriff: (re: onlookers) You’ll have to pardon them. Don’t think a one of ’em’s ever seen a registered Companion before.

Inara: I apologize for my manner.

Sheriff: Oh, not a bit.

Inara: Should I contact my ship? Do you need to hold them very much longer?

Sheriff: Looks to me like we’re about done here. I, uh. We had some unrelated trouble. His story had kind of an odor to it.

Inara: Yes, it’s not the only thing about him that does. Thank you, very much Sheriff. (to Mal and Zoe) Come along.

Firefly – Episode 2 – “The Train Job”

Quote of the Day

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Jayne: You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in ruttin’ command here. Now we’re finishing this deal, and then maybe… maybe we’ll come back for those morons who got themselves caught. You can’t change that by getting all… bendy.

Wash: All what?

Jayne: You’ve got the light.. from the console.. keep you… lift you up. They shine like… little angels… (collapses)

Wash: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

Simon: I told him to sit down.

Kaylee: You doped him.

Simon: It was supposed to kick in a good deal sooner. I, I just didn’t feel comfortable with him in charge. I hope.. hope that’s all right.

Firefly – Episode 2 – “The Train Job”

Quote of the Day

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Simon: Hey.

Kaylee: Oh! Hey, Doctor.

Simon: You really should just call me Simon.

Kaylee: Oh, I’ll do that, then.

Simon: So, what are we doing?

Kaylee: Oh! Crime.

Simon: Crime? Good. Okay, crime.

Kaylee: It’s a train heist. See, we fly over the train car. The Captain and Zoe sneak in, we lower Jayne onto the car, and they bundle up the booty, and we haul ’em all back up. Easy as lyin’.

Simon: They’ve done this before?

Kaylee: (laughs) Hell no. But I think it’s gonna work.

Firefly – Episode 2 – “The Train Job”

Quote of the Day

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Zoe: Sir, is there some information we might maybe be lacking as to why there’s an entire fedsquad sitting on this train?

Mal: Doesn’t concern us.

Zoe: It kinda concerns me.

Mal: I mean they’re not protecting the goods. If they were, they wouldn’t be letting people past ’em.

Zoe: You don’t think that changes the situation a bit?

Mal: I surely do. Makes it more fun.

Zoe: Sir? I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Mal: Come on. We stick to the plan. We get the goods, we’re back on Serenity before the train even reaches Paradiso, only now we do it under the noses of twenty trained Alliance Feds. And that makes ’em look all manner of stupid. Hell, this job I would pull for free.

Zoe: Can I have your share?

Mal: No.

Zoe: If you die, can I have your share?

Mal: Yes.

Firefly – Episode 2 – “The Train Job”

Quote of the Day

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Kaylee: Have you ever had to service a really hideous client? With boils and the like?

Inara: A Companion chooses her own clients, that’s Guild law. But physical appearance doesn’t matter so terribly. You look for a compatibility of spirit. There’s an energy about a person that’s difficult to hide, you try to feel that ―

Mal: (walking in) And then you try to feel the energy of their credit account. It has a sort of aura.

Inara: What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?

Mal: That it was manly and impulsive?

Inara: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was “don’t”.

Mal: Well, you’re holding my mechanic in thrall. And Kaylee, what the hell’s goin’ on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?

Firefly – Episode 2 – “The Train Job”