Quark: What you need is a Ferengi.
Jadzia Dax: Maybe. But what I want is Worf.
Julian Bashir: Why?
Jadzia Dax: Because he has the courage of a berserker cat, and he has the heart of a poet.
Quark: And the brain of a pig-headed idiot.
Jadzia Dax: Yeah, sometimes.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 7 – “Let He Who Is Without Sin…”
Jadzia Dax: You’re being ridiculous. Why does pregnancy always make men hysterical?
Miles O’Brien: Excuse me, this is not the first baby I’ve had.
Kira Nerys: Excuse me. Keiko had Molly.
Jadzia Dax: It’s not up to you to tell Kira what she can and cannot do.
Worf: She is carrying his child, he should have some say.
Quark: As the lessee, he does have certain rights. Back home, pregnancy is considered a rental.
Dax and Kira: Rental?
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 4 – “Nor Battle to the Strong”
Julian Bashir: A compound fracture of the right radius, two fractured ribs, torn ligaments, strained tendons, numerous contusions, bruises and scratches. What have you been doing?
Quark: You mean, what have we been doing?
[Quark and Grilka erupt into naughty laughter]
Julian Bashir: Never mind. I don’t need that particular image running around my head. I’ll just treat you.
[Worf and Dax enter.]
Julian Bashir: What happened to you two?
Worf: We, uh…
Jadzia Dax: Well, if you must know…
Julian Bashir: No! I don’t need that particular image either. In fact, I’m going to stop asking that question altogether! People can come in, I will treat them, and that will be all.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 3 – “Looking for par’Mach in All the Wrong Places”
Quark: If you’re going to prosecute me, I demand that you prosecute my co-conspirator.
Julian Bashir: I’m not a conspirator!
Odo: What would you call yourself, Doctor?
Julian Bashir: An idiot!
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 2 – “The Ship”
Julian Bashir: Quark, where do you want this?
Quark: What is it?
Julian Bashir: A case of Alvanian brandy. A patient sent it as payment but I can’t accept it.
Quark: Nice try, Doctor, but I don’t want your charity.
Julian Bashir: Oh, it’s not charity. I find it undrinkable. So do you want it or shall I dump it?
Jadzia Dax: Quark. My sister sent me these. I thought you might want them but they’re really ugly.
Rom: They’re not as ugly as the old ones, but they’re pretty bad.
Quark: This is all very amusing, but I can’t start a bar with a case of bad brandy and a set of ugly glasses.
Benjamin Sisko: Quark!
Quark: Yes, Captain?
Benjamin Sisko: We’re doing some structural repair work on level two of the Habitat ring. We need a place to store some extra furniture for the next few months and it looks like you have the room.
Odo: Captain, where do you want me to put all this furniture?
Benjamin Sisko: We have three levels, Constable. Use them all.
Odo: Understood.
Quark: Captain, you can’t do this! Not without paying a storage fee. A minimum storage fee. Practically nothing.
Benjamin Sisko: Send me the bill.
Quark: All right. Don’t just stand there, Odo. Move it all in.
Rom: Look at them, brother. And you thought you had no assets.
Quark: Sisko, Dax, Bashir, Morn? They’re my assets?
Rom: To name a few.
Quark: I guess you’re right. I need a drink.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 4: Episode 25 – “Body Parts”
Garak: How’s that?
Quark: Awful! Did you hear that sound of bone snapping? I don’t want that to be the last thing I hear!
Garak: It wasn’t that loud.
Quark: You don’t have these ears. Snapping vertebrae is out!
Garak: We’re running out of options, Quark. You don’t want to be vaporized because you need a body; the disrupter ruined your clothing, the knife was too savage, the nerve gas smelled bad, hanging took too long, and poison… What was was wrong with poison?
Quark: It doesn’t work! If I know the food is poisoned I won’t eat it.
Garak: For a man who wants to kill himself you’re strangely determined to live.
Quark: I’m going to die, don’t you worry about that. I just want to find the right way.
Garak: Right way?
Quark: I don’t want to see it coming. Or hear it. Or feel it or smell it. I just want to go on with my life and then… [snaps his fingers] …I’m dead!
Garak: Ah! You want to be surprised!
Quark: Exactly! I want to wake up in the Divine Treasury and have no idea how I got there.
Garak: I see. Perhaps that can be arranged.
Quark: Really?
Garak: You have my word. You’ll never know what hit you.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 4: Episode 25 – “Body Parts”
Miles O’Brien: Looks like he used some sort of encryption program to bypass the access protocols.
Kira Nerys: Unbelievable. The nerve.
Quark: Major, you wanted to see me?
Odo: Don’t pretend you don’t know what this is about.
Kira Nerys: Maybe this’ll jog your memory. Engage monitor.
Quark’s Advertisement: Come to Quark’s, Quark’s is fun, come right now, don’t walk, run!
Quark: Oh, I love the part where my name rotates around.
Odo: Tampering with the station’s comm. system is a class three offence.
Quark: It’s just a little advertisement. I didn’t put one up in Ops.
Odo: I’m sure the magistrate will take that into consideration when he calculates your fine.
Worf: You!
Quark: As you can see, we’re very busy here. Station business.
Worf: How did you do it?
Miles O’Brien: Do what?
Worf: I ordered a glass of prune juice from the replicator in the Defiant’s mess. This is what it came in.
Kira Nerys: If all your little advertisements aren’t purged from our systems by the time I get back from the Gamma Quadrant, I will come to Quark’s, and believe me, I will have fun.
Quark: Er, let me help you with that, Chief.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 4: Episode 24 – “The Quickening”
Quark: Did you hear? Keiko’s gonna have another baby!
Worf: Now?
Miles O’Brien: No! Seven months.
Worf: I see…
Miles O’Brien: Worf delivered Molly, you know.
Julian Bashir: Really?
Miles O’Brien: The Enterprise was damaged. Keiko and he were trapped together when her time came.
Julian Bashir: Oh well, I’ll, uh, be sure and call you, when she’s ready to deliver; you can lend a hand.
Worf: Seven months? Unfortunately I will be away from the station at that time… Far away… Visiting my parents, on Earth… Excuse me.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 4: Episode 17 – “Accession”
Julian Bashir: Quark, did you hear? Chief O’Brien is having a baby!
Quark: I thought your females carried your young.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 4: Episode 17 – “Accession”
Quark: I want you to try something for me. Take a sip of this.
Garak: What is it?
Quark: A human drink. It’s called root beer.
Garak: Uh, I don’t know…
Quark: Come on, aren’t you just a little bit curious?
[Garak sighs, takes a sip and gags]
Quark: What do you think?
Garak: It’s vile!
Quark: I know. It’s so bubbly, and cloying, and happy.
Garak: Just like the Federation.
Quark: But you know what’s really frightening? If you drink enough of it, you begin to like it.
Garak: It’s insidious!
Quark: Just like the Federation.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 4: Episode 1 – “The Way of the Warrior”
The Love Pirate 