Quote of the Day

Julian Bashir: Quark, where do you want this?

Quark: What is it?

Julian Bashir: A case of Alvanian brandy. A patient sent it as payment but I can’t accept it.

Quark: Nice try, Doctor, but I don’t want your charity.

Julian Bashir: Oh, it’s not charity. I find it undrinkable. So do you want it or shall I dump it?

Jadzia Dax: Quark. My sister sent me these. I thought you might want them but they’re really ugly.

Rom: They’re not as ugly as the old ones, but they’re pretty bad.

Quark: This is all very amusing, but I can’t start a bar with a case of bad brandy and a set of ugly glasses.

Benjamin Sisko: Quark!

Quark: Yes, Captain?

Benjamin Sisko: We’re doing some structural repair work on level two of the Habitat ring. We need a place to store some extra furniture for the next few months and it looks like you have the room.

Odo: Captain, where do you want me to put all this furniture?

Benjamin Sisko: We have three levels, Constable. Use them all.

Odo: Understood.

Quark: Captain, you can’t do this! Not without paying a storage fee. A minimum storage fee. Practically nothing.

Benjamin Sisko: Send me the bill.

Quark: All right. Don’t just stand there, Odo. Move it all in.

Rom: Look at them, brother. And you thought you had no assets.

Quark: Sisko, Dax, Bashir, Morn? They’re my assets?

Rom: To name a few.

Quark: I guess you’re right. I need a drink.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 4: Episode 25 – “Body Parts”

Quote of the Day

Garak: How’s that?

Quark: Awful! Did you hear that sound of bone snapping? I don’t want that to be the last thing I hear!

Garak: It wasn’t that loud.

Quark: You don’t have these ears. Snapping vertebrae is out!

Garak: We’re running out of options, Quark. You don’t want to be vaporized because you need a body; the disrupter ruined your clothing, the knife was too savage, the nerve gas smelled bad, hanging took too long, and poison… What was was wrong with poison?

Quark: It doesn’t work! If I know the food is poisoned I won’t eat it.

Garak: For a man who wants to kill himself you’re strangely determined to live.

Quark: I’m going to die, don’t you worry about that. I just want to find the right way.

Garak: Right way?

Quark: I don’t want to see it coming. Or hear it. Or feel it or smell it. I just want to go on with my life and then… [snaps his fingers] …I’m dead!

Garak: Ah! You want to be surprised!

Quark: Exactly! I want to wake up in the Divine Treasury and have no idea how I got there.

Garak: I see. Perhaps that can be arranged.

Quark: Really?

Garak: You have my word. You’ll never know what hit you.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 4: Episode 25 – “Body Parts”