Buffy: Vampires are creeps.
Giles: Yes, that’s why one slays them.
Buffy: I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come, and they run around and they kill people, and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini pizzas, and everyone’s like, ‘I like your mini pizzas,’ but I’m telling you, I am…
Giles: Uh, uh, Buffy! I-I believe the… subtext here is, is, rapidly becoming, uh, uh, text.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 11 – “Ted”
Oz: Oh, hey! Animal cracker?
Willow: No, thank you. How’s your arm?
Oz: Suddenly painless.
Willow: You can still play the guitar okay?
Oz: Oh, not well, but not worse.
Willow: Y’know, I never really thanked you.
Oz: Ooo, yeah, please don’t. I don’t do thanks. I get all red. Have to bail. It’s not pretty.
Willow: Well, then forget that thing. E-especially with the part where I kind of owe you my life.
Oz: Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.
Willow: Yeah, I-I see!
Oz: The monkey’s the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that?
[Willow smiles.]
Oz: You have the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen… So, I’m wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, ‘Hey, man, where are *my* pants? I have my hippo dignity!’ And you know the monkey’s just, ‘I mock you with my monkey pants!’ And there’s a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The monkey is French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn’t know that?
Willow: No.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”
Buffy: Switch!
Spike: I’d rather be fightin’ you anyway.
Buffy: Mutual.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”
Spike: Who the hell is this?!
Buffy: It’s your lucky day, Spike.
Kendra: Two Slayers!
Buffy: No waiting!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”
Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little excessive.
Willow: It’s the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”
Buffy: How is he?
Willow: He’s shot! Are you okay?
Oz: I, uh, I’m shot! Y’know. Wow! It’s odd! And painful.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”
Oz: Hey.
Willow: Hey! Your hair! Is brown!
Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes. So, uh, did you decide? Are you gonna be a Corporate Computer Suit Guy?
Willow: Oh. Uh, well, I-I think I’m gonna finish high school first. What about you?
Oz: I’m not really a computer person, you know. Or a work of any kind person.
Willow: They why’d they select you?
Oz: Oh, I sorta test well. Y’know, which is cool. E-except that it leads to jobs.
Willow: Well, don’t you have some ambition?
Oz: Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.
Willow: Huh?
Oz: Well, the E-flat, it’s, it’s doable, but that diminished ninth, y’know, it’s a man’s chord. Now, you could lose a finger.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”
Kendra: I study because it is required. The Slayer handbook insists on it.
Willow: There’s a Slayer handbook?
Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don’t have a handbook?
Willow: Is there a T-shirt, too? ‘Cause that would be cool…
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”
Buffy: I don’t take orders. I do things my way.
Kendra: No wonder you died.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”
Kendra: I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a vampire?
Willow: Buffy would never do that! Oh. Except for that sometimes you do that.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 10 – “What’s My Line, Part 2”
The Love Pirate 