Willow: It’s really nice that you guys missed me… Say, you all didn’t happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?
Xander: Will, we saw you at the Bronze. A vampire.
Willow: I’m not a vampire.
Buffy: You are. I-I mean, you, you were… Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?
Giles: Well, uh… something… something, um, very strange is happening.
Xander: Can you believe the Watcher’s Council let this guy go?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 16 — “Dopplegangland”
Lorelai: I came to pick up that rocker that I bought a couple weeks ago.
Mrs. Kim: Six weeks ago.
Lorelai: Oh, well, OK. Well, that’s a couple times three. That’s six… Math humor. Not big with a lot of people. Don’t feel bad.
Mrs. Kim: This is not a storage facility.
Lorelai: I know, I’m sorry.
Mrs. Kim: This is a furniture store. Furniture comes in, people buy, then it goes out.
Lorelai: Right.
Mrs. Kim: Except when Lorelai Gilmore buys. Then furniture stays here for six weeks.
Lorelai: How about I pay you extra?
Mrs. Kim: I don’t want you to pay me extra. I want you to pick up the thing you paid for in the first place. (she finds the rocker) Here.
Lorelai: Huh, I remember it smaller.
Mrs. Kim: It’s been six weeks. Maybe it grew.
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 7 — “Kiss and Tell”
Mal: I’m sorry. You have very nice qualities, but I didn’t ever marry you.
Book: I believe you did. Last night.
Mal: (goes over to Jayne) How drunk was I last night?
Jayne: Well I dunno. I passed out.
Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”
Kirk: Key in the ignition. Turn the ignition on. And nothing happens. Where’s the starter? There’s the starter. Yes!
Spock: Interesting.
Kirk: Oops! Gears.
Spock: Yes. Oh. I believe they had a device known as a clutch. Clutch, Captain. Perhaps one of those pedals on the floor.
Kirk: I kind of like this. I’m going to get one myself.
Spock: Captain, you are an excellent starship commander, but as a taxi driver you leave much to be desired.
Kirk: It was that bad?
Star Trek — Season 2: Episode 20 — “A Piece of the Action”
(The gang thinks Willow is a vampire)
Xander: This isn’t real.
Buffy: I can’t feel anything. Arms, legs, anything.
Giles: She was truly the finest of all of us.
Xander: Way better than me.
Giles: (nodding) Much, much better.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer — Season 3: Episode 16 — “Dopplegangland”
The Love Pirate 