Luke: Here.
Rory: What’s that?
Luke: You look like you need pie.
Rory: I do?
Luke: Violent pencil tossing usually signals the need for pie.
Rory:What if I’d thrown a pen?
Luke: I would’ve brought you a trout.
Rory: What?
Luke: I don’t make the rules, I just carry them out.
[Lorelai comes in]
Lorelai: Hey, backwards baseball hat – new look for you. She’s eating pie? Did she even have dinner?
Luke: You raised her, I just serve.
Gilmore Girls — Season 2: Episode 4 — “The Deer-Hunters”
Rory: Maybe you could come with me.
Lorelai: Oh, is there a “you’re crazy” team? ‘Cause I think they’d make you captain.
Rory: Please?Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I’d rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I’d rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don’t stop me, I’m on a roll. I’d rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I’d rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would ya? Thanks. I’d rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you…
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 3 — “Kill Me Now”
Rory: I can’t believe tomorrow’s my last day at Stars Hollow High.
Lorelai: I know.
Rory: Today I was so excited I dressed for gym.
Lorelai: You’re kidding!
Rory: And I played volleyball.
Lorelai: With other people?
Rory: And I learned that all this time I was avoiding group sports?
Lorelai: Yeah?
Rory: Was very smart because I suck at them.
Lorelai: Well, yeah, you got that from me.
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 1 — “Pilot”
Rory: Mom?
Lorelai: Oh!
Rory: You’re happy.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Rory: Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I’m not that happy.
Gilmore Girls — Season 1: Episode 1 — “Pilot”
The Love Pirate 