Devon: Let me guess: not your type? What does a girl have to do to impress you?
Oz: Well, it involves a feathered boa and the theme to ‘A Summer Place’. I can’t discuss it here.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 4 – “Inca Mummy Girl”
Giles: You have responsibilities that other girls do not.
Buffy: Oh! I know this one! ‘Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I’m so stuffy, gimme a scone.’
Giles: It’s as if you know me.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 4 – “Inca Mummy Girl”
Joyce: Principal Snyder said you were a troublemaker. And I could care less. I have a daughter who can take care of herself. Who’s brave and resourceful and thinks of others in a crisis. No matter who you hang out with or what dumb teenage stuff you think you need to do, I’m gonna sleep better knowing all that.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 3 – “School Hard”
Joyce: You get the hell away from my daughter!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 3 – “School Hard”
Willow: (about Angel) Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that’s still, like, four hundred dates with four hundred different… (Buffy gives her a look) Why do they call it a mace?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 3 – “School Hard”
Xander: As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you’ll be fine.
Buffy: Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen!
Xander: Whadaya mean? Nothing’s gonna happen.
Willow: Not until some dummy says, ‘as long as nothing bad happens.’
Buffy: It’s the ultimate jinx!
Willow: What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?
Xander: Well, you guys don’t know. Maybe this time it’ll be different.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 3 – “School Hard”
Jenny Calendar: I don’t know what it is about football that does it for me. I mean, it lacks the, the grace of basketball, the, uh, poetry of baseball. At its best it’s unadorned aggression. It’s such a rugged contest.
Giles: Rugged. American football. (laughs)
Jenny Calendar: And that’s funny because?
Giles: No! I just think it’s rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.
Jenny Calendar: Is this your normal strategy for a first date? Dissing my country’s national pastime?
Giles: Did you just say ‘date’?
Jenny Calendar: You noticed that, huh?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”
Buffy: I couldn’t believe Angel. He was acting all jealous, and he wouldn’t even admit it.
Willow: Jealous of what?
Buffy: Of Xander.
Willow: Because you did that sexy dance with him?
Buffy: Am I ever gonna live that down?
Willow: No.
Buffy: Anyway, he was being totally irrational.
Willow: Love makes you do the wacky.
Buffy: That’s the truth.
Xander: Y’know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: Here, here.
Buffy: Sorry, but I’m an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”
Giles: Grave robbing? That’s new. Interesting.
Buffy: I *know* you meant to say gross and disturbing.
Giles: Yes, yes, yes of course. Uh, terrible thing. Must, must put a stop to it. Damn it.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”
Giles: W-w-w-what I’m proposing is, um… and I-I don’t mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a-a-a social engagement, um, a, a, a, a-a date, if you’re amenable. … You idiot!
Buffy: Boy…I guess we never realized how much you like that chair.
Giles: I-I-I was just working on…
Buffy: Your pickup lines?
Giles: Um, in a manner of speaking, yes.
Buffy: Then if you wouldn’t mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the ‘idiot’ part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
Xander: Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on.
Buffy: I fear you. You also might wanna avoid words like ‘amenable’ and ‘indecorous’, y’know. Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um…
Giles: England?
Buffy: Yeah. You just say, ‘Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.’
Giles: Oh, thank you, Cyrano.
Buffy: I’m not finished. Then you say, ‘How do you feel about Mexican?’
Giles: About Mexicans?
Buffy: Mexican. Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay.
Giles: Oh. Right.
Xander: So this chair-woman. We are talking Ms. Calendar, right?
Giles: W-what makes you think that?
Xander: Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you’re a school librarian, so you don’t have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.
Buffy: And she’s the only woman we’ve actually ever seen speak to you. Add it all up and it all spells ‘duh’.
Xander: Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?
Giles: You know, I’m suddenly deciding this is none of your business.
Xander: Y’know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”
The Love Pirate 