Tag Archives: BtVS

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Buffy, Willow, Xander, Reptile Boy

Buffy:  Well, say it.

Xander:  I’m not gonna say it.

Willow:  You lied to Giles.

Xander:  ‘Cause she will.

Buffy:  Look, I wasn’t lying. I was just… protecting him from information that he wouldn’t be able to… digest properly.

Xander:  Like a corn dog.

Willow:  Like you don’t have a sick mother, but you’d rather go to a frat party where there’s gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.

Xander:  Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren’t I on the mailing list?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”

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Buffy, Willow, Reptile Boy

Willow:  You dreamed about Angel again?

Buffy:  Third night in a row.

Willow:  What did he do in the dream?

Buffy:  Stuff.

Willow:  Oh! Stuff! Was it one of those vivid dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair?

Buffy:  It had surround sound. I’m just thinking about him so much lately.

Willow:  You two are so right for each other. Except for the, uh…

Buffy:  Vampire thing.

Willow:  That doesn’t make him a bad person. Necessarily.

Buffy:  I’m brainsick. I can’t have a relationship with him.

Willow:  Not during the day, but you could ask him for coffee some night. It’s the non-relationship drink of choice. It’s not a date, it’s a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it’s hot and bitter like a relationship that way, but…

Xander:  What’s like a relationship?

Buffy:  Nothing I have.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”

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Buffy, Xander, Willow, Reptile Boy

Xander:  Is she dying?

Buffy:  I think she’s singing.

Xander:  To a telephone in Hindi. Now that’s entertainment! Why is she singing?

Willow:  She’s sad because her lover gave her twelve gold coins, but then the wizard cut open the bag of salt, and now the dancing minions have nowhere to put their big maypole… fish thing.

Xander:  Uh-huh. Why is she singing?

Buffy:  Her lover? I thought that was her chiropractor.

Willow:  Because of that thing he did with her feet? No, that was personal.

Xander:  Hmm. And we thought just because we didn’t have any money or anyplace to go this would be a lackluster evening.

Willow:  I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water.

Xander:  Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail.

Buffy:  I, for one, am giddy and up. There’s a kinda hush all over Sunnydale. No demons or vampires to slay, I’m here with my friends… So, how does the water buffalo fit in again?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”

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Oz:  Who is that girl?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 4 – “Inca Mummy Girl”

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Buffy:  Come on! Can’t you put your foot down?

Giles:  It is down.

Buffy:  One of these days you’re gonna have to get a grownup car.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 4 – “Inca Mummy Girl”

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Willow:  Why are you suddenly so worried about looking like an idiot? That came out wrong.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 4 – “Inca Mummy Girl”

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Devon:  Let me guess: not your type? What does a girl have to do to impress you?

Oz:  Well, it involves a feathered boa and the theme to ‘A Summer Place’. I can’t discuss it here.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 4 – “Inca Mummy Girl”

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Giles:  You have responsibilities that other girls do not.

Buffy:  Oh! I know this one! ‘Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I’m so stuffy, gimme a scone.’

Giles:  It’s as if you know me.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 4 – “Inca Mummy Girl”

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Joyce and Buffy in School Hard

Joyce:  Principal Snyder said you were a troublemaker. And I could care less. I have a daughter who can take care of herself. Who’s brave and resourceful and thinks of others in a crisis. No matter who you hang out with or what dumb teenage stuff you think you need to do, I’m gonna sleep better knowing all that.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 3 – “School Hard”

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Joyce Summers in School Hard

Joyce:  You get the hell away from my daughter!

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 3 – “School Hard”