Bobbi finds Simmons to let her know the quinjet is ready, but Simmons is still searching for the case of dwarfs. Bobbi suggests she ask Fitz, but Simmons would rather search on her own. Bobbi asks how long Simmons and Fitz were a thing, but Simmons awkwardly deflects, saying they were never a thing and she never even dreamed about it. “I’m going to stop you right there,” Bobbi says, telling her that if this were an interrogation Simmons has already given her nine clues that would have made Bobbi put her away. She says she knows the story of what Ward did to Simmons and Fitz, that Fitz’s brain was damaged, but she doesn’t think that that’s Simmons’ issue. She asks what happened and Simmons starts to tell about how they were trapped together on the bottom of the ocean, left for dead, and Bobbi interrupts to say that Fitz must have said those three little words. Simmons says yes, but then changes it to “well no, not exactly” adding that she barely had a moment to process what he said before he gave her the oxygen and the water started rushing in. Next thing she knows he’s lying in the hospital bed, deathly pale, in a coma for “nine of the longest days in my life.” When he woke up he couldn’t speak, he just stared at Simmons, confused. “All I wanted was my best friend back,” she says tearfully. Bobbi’s surprised that they were friends, but Simmons says that she never thought of Fitz as anything else, but that she can’t imagine her life without him. Of course, she’s never told Fitz any of this. Bobbi says she wishes she could give Simmons some advice, but she’s never been friends with a guy first, instead she’s always on a roller coaster full of ups and downs and twists and turns, and she always finds herself back in line to do it all over again. “Is the ride worth it?” Simmons asks. “I’ll let you know when it’s all over,” Bobbi says, telling Simmons that she should be honest with him, because the most important thing is trust.
As the teams split up, Bobbi tells Hunter, “Don’t die out there, ok?” “It’s Canada,” he says with a verbal eyeroll. As Simmons heads up the ladder to the quinjet, Trip gives her a salute that she returns with a charming yet awkward smile. Coulson tells Skye that he’ll see her in San Juan, and after thinking for a moment she gives him a hug and says she’ll see him there. Up on the quinjet, Mack tells Bobbi, “So, you and Hunter again?” Bobbi says she knows in a weary way, especially when he points out that she’s been through it enough times. “You’re a big brother, but you’re not my big brother,” she says. “Are you bringing Hunter in on the other thing?” Mack asks, causing all SHIELDfans to say “wait, what?” and rewind their DVRs. Mack was just wondering if, after they lost Hartley, she might have brought Hunter in, but she says he has no idea and she wants it to stay that way.
One of the Koenigs is walking down the street, being followed by an obvious HYDRA agent. Koenig’s phone rings and the HYDRA agent moves in for the attack when Hunter comes up behind him and knocks him out, shouting to the passersby, “Someone call an ambulance, this guy just passed out!” As he and Koenig walk away, Koenig tells him that was impressive, but when Hunter calls him Billy he replies, “I’m Sam, Billy’s shorter.” May takes out two more HYDRA agents waiting in a van, while at the safe house Billy and Raina hear a knock on the door that is definitely not Sam’s knock. Raina seems doubtful that Billy would know Sam’s knock, but he replies, “We’re brothers, of course we have a knock.” He goes to the door and calls through it for the person to scan their lanyard. They do and the door opens to reveal Skye, who says, “Come on Sam, you can’t just look through the peephole?” “I’m Billy, Sam’s the short one,” Billy replies. Skye is there to lead Raina out, but who should show up in the hallway but Agent 33. Skye orders Billy and Raina to run for the stairs as she starts to fight Agent 33.
The two are pretty evenly matched, reaching for the abandoned gun between them. They burst through the door back into the room, and Skye more than holds her own, getting in some good licks. She tells 33 to stand down, and that they can help her, but 33 flips off the wall, knocks Skye to the floor and takes her gun. “I don’t need your help,” she says, her voice sounding slightly off and robotic, but before she can do any more Hunter comes in and knocks her out. Seeing who it is he freaks out a little, asking “what the hell is that?” “May’s evil twin,” Skye says as he helps her up. “I thought the Koenigs were creepy,” Hunter replies as Skye radios to tell Coulson they’re on the way.
Coulson and crew have arrived in San Juan, and he and Bobbi walk down the street discussing a fried plantain dish with crab served around the corner. Coulson wants to get some, “you know, after we save the world.” Bobbi’s contact is late, and Coulson wonders if they can trust him. Bobbi says he’s a politician, so the answer is no, but he likes her and can keep the cops off them. They wander through a market, where Coulson says “Ooh, hats!” and rushes over to them. “I wish I was a hat guy,” he says, trying one on, “some guys can really pull that off, you know.” “You know, for a guy that’s about to blow up a chunk of an underground city you’re pretty unfazed,” Bobbi observes. She seems surprised that he wants to destroy the weapon, since Fury would have tried to recover it. He insists that he’s not Fury, but she points out that Fury did give him the keys to the kingdom. He tells her to look around, at the vendors selling their wares, the locals shopping for dinner, and the tourists on their first vacations. She asks the point, and he says they’re the point. They’re the reason he’s here, the reason there’s a SHIELD at all. There are three million people on the island and he won’t let HYDRA turn them into collateral damage. She asks what Coulson’s number is, saying Fury would have one, the number of acceptable losses. He answers zero, adding that he doesn’t like that word. He’d rather use a scalpel than a shotgun, which is why he brought FitzSimmons. She says that sometimes you need a shotgun with HYDRA, and he says that’s why he brought her. Bobbi spots her contact and heads off to meet with him.
The quinjet has landed in an isolated valley where Mack and FitzSimmons sit uncomfortably. Eventually Mack says he’s going to check on the landing gear, prompting many exclamations of “no” and “wait” from Fitz, who asks why. “Because the awkward silence in here is killing me,” he says, leaving them alone together. After a long pause, Fitz and Simmons both start talking at the same time, both wanting to go first and get out what they want to say. Simmons eventually wins and says that she needs him to understand that she didn’t leave because of him. He interrupts to say that he’s got a whole thing prepared and it’s hard enough to get the words out. He says he’s going to leave the lab so that she can be the one who runs the science division. She’s shocked that he’s quitting, but he’s not, he’s just going to the garage. She asks why and he says she knows why, and that she’s clearly more capable than he is at this point anyway.
It’s at this point that MY F***ING LOCAL ABC STATION CUTS IN WITH A MATTRESS COMMERCIAL FOLLOWED BY AN ACURA COMMERCIAL!!!! This kind of crap happens so often here that I’m surprised it’s never happened before with SHIELD. So I missed the end of this very emotional, character building scene, that potentially will have a major impact on their story going forward… no big deal. Thankfully, Lindsay commented in my instant reaction to tell me that all I missed was Fitz saying that he can work for Simmons, just not with her. Still, it’s ridiculous that in 2014 local TV still can’t get their act together and air commercials at the correct time. It’s not like it was a tornado warning or something, it was a freaking mattress commercial. Anyway, we check back in with Bobbi who asks Coulson how he thinks HYDRA plans on unlocking the weapon, since no one can touch the Diviner. He says that no one they know of can touch it.
Raina, Hunter and Skye head outside with Koenig. Hunter and Koenig head off to find May, who is missing, while Skye is left to watch Raina. Raina thinks that she was dangled out as bait to attract HYDRA, and the success of the plan must have made SHIELD happy. Skye tells her that Coulson thinks HYDRA is after her because she might know about the Diviner. That changes things for Raina, who confesses that she can hold the Diviner safely. She tells Skye that the Diviner shows alien symbols when she touches it, and she felt a pull when she held it. Skye thinks that sounds a little like Harry Potter, but Raina says that it reads your DNA to determine if you’re worthy. She says that Skye will understand when she touches it, but Skye says she doesn’t want to die from contact with it. Raina insists that Skye’s father thinks she’s worthy, but Skye says that if he tricked Raina into touching it then she’s as crazy as he is.
They spot some HYDRA agents standing around the corner, and after telling Skye that it’s her destiny, Raina runs towards them, yelling that she’s there. The men draw their guns, heading towards Skye and Raina, when they’re mowed down by a van driven by May. “Found May,” Hunter says helpfully, and they grab Raina and drive off. Agent 33 watches them leave and makes a call to Whitehall to say she’s sorry that Raina got away. But, she tells him that Raina mentioned having a tracker inside her that was implanted by SHIELD. He tells her he’ll get his best man on it right away.
The other Koenig (Billy, I think?) asks Sam (I think) what happened to Agent 33. He tells him that they had to leave her there because HYDRA was closing in. A Koenig says that it must have been weird for May, with someone else having your face. They then start making fun of 33’s messed up voice, doing an impression of the robot from Lost in Space (“Crush, kill, destroy”) while hunter looks on, mildly creeped out. He asks how many Koenigs there are, and they reply 13, before laughing and passing it off as a joke.
May calls Coulson to check in, telling him that Skye is working on Raina. She brings up Agent 33, saying, “You know she still has my face.” “Lucky her,” Coulson replies, earning cheers from the Philinda shippers out there. She tells him what Raina confessed, about being able to touch the Diviner, and he reasons that HYDRA wants her to lead them to the temple. He asks if May believes Raina, and she says that Skye does, and that he was right about Raina. He tells them to stick with it while he does some recon on the temple.
Bobbi’s contact has disappeared, refusing to go down into the fort where the city entrance supposedly rests, saying he’s afraid of the legend. Down in the building, Simmons informs them that it was formerly known as the “Devil’s Sentry” which was built during the 18th century to repel British invaders. The tower was originally built in 1634 and is well known for being haunted. Mack manages to open a deep square shaft in the floor, and despite his claims to the contrary seems pretty worried about the ghosts. Simmons tells them stories of guards who went missing in the middle of the night, which is about as preposterous as an alien city.
Coulson comes in and asks how it’s going, and both Simmons and Fitz try to talk at the same time. They cutely squabble over who should speak, each offering the opportunity to the other, until Coulson can’t stand it anymore and orders someone to start talking. They’re ready to deploy the dwarfs, and Fitz sends three of them down the hole while Coulson asks how long it will take to survey the area and locate the temple. Fitz says it depends, but when he struggles with a word he looks to Mack for help. Mack sneakily claims ignorance, forcing Fitz to look to Simmons to finish his sentences, and the two discuss tectonic stress levels and share a quick smile. They’re interrupted when the signal from the dwarfs goes out.