Xander: Finding out who this thing is takes priority. Cordy, you should go with Giles.
Giles: Why do I have to have…? (looks at Cordelia) Uh, good thinking. I-I-I could do with a research assistant.
Cordelia: Let’s go, tact-guy.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”
Willow: Oh, yeah, I’m good at medical stuff since Xander and I used to play doctor all the time.
Xander: No, she’s being literal. She used to have all these medical volumes, uh, and diagnosed me with stuff. I didn’t have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong.
Willow: Wrong? Why? (to Buffy) How did *you* play doctor?
Buffy: (evasively) I never have.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”
Giles: Saw what?
Buffy: Death.
Cordelia: Death?
Willow: The Death? As in, ‘It is your time’?
Giles: Buffy, a-a-a frightened child…
Buffy: Yeah, but I thought I saw something. I’m not sure, I was really out of it, but…
Cordelia: But you do know that you saw death.
Willow: Did it have an hourglass?
Xander: Ooo, if he asks you to play chess, don’t even do it. The guy’s, like, a whiz.
Buffy: Maybe it wasn’t death. Maybe it was something else.
Cordelia: So this isn’t about you being afraid of hospitals ’cause your friend died and you wanna conjure up a monster that you can fight so you can save everybody and not feel so helpless?
Giles: Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?
Cordelia: Tact is just not saying true stuff. I’ll pass.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death”
Xander: Flowers for milady.
Buffy: I think they call those balloons.
Xander: Yeah, stick ’em in water, maybe they’ll grow.
Willow: Not to be outdone…
Buffy: Homework!
Willow: It’s my way of saying, ‘get well soon’.
Buffy: You know, chocolate says that even better.
Willow: I did all your assignments. All you have to do is sign your name.
Buffy: Chocolate means nothing to me.
Cordelia: Nobody told me I was supposed to bring a gift. I was out of the loop on gifts.
Giles: It’s, it’s tradition among, um… people.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 18 – “Killed by Death
Giles: The ritual go all right?
Willow: Oh, yeah. It went fine. Well, it went fine until Angel showed up and told Buffy’s mom that he and Buffy had… Well, you know, that they had… you know. You do know, right?
Giles: Oh, yes. Yes. Sorry.
Willow: Oh, good, ’cause I just realized that being a librarian and all, you maybe didn’t know.
Giles: Oh, thank you. I got it.
Willow: You would have been proud of her, though. She totally kept her cool…….. Okay, well, I’ll tell Buffy you stopped by.
Giles: Would you, um… Perhaps I should intervene on, on Buffy’s behalf w-w-with her mother. Um, maybe… say something?
Willow: Sure! Like, what would you say?
Giles: W… Uh… (Willow opens the door for him.) You will tell Buffy I dropped by?
Willow: You bet.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2: Episode 17 – “Passion”
Giles: You mustn’t let Angel get to you. No matter how provocative his behavior may become.
Buffy: So what you’re basically saying is, ‘just ignore him, and maybe he’ll go away’?
Giles: Yes. Precisely.
Xander: Hey, how come Buffy doesn’t get a snotty ‘once again you boil it down to the simplest form’ thing?… Watcher’s pet.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2, Episode 17 – “Passion”
Giles: Uh, uh, look, it’s-it’s classic battle strategy to throw one’s opponent off his game. He-he-he’s just trying to provoke you. Uh, to taunt you, to, to goad you into, uh, some mishap of some sort.
Xander: The nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah approach to battle?
Giles: Yes, Xander, once more you’ve managed to boil a complex thought down to its simplest possible form.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2, Episode 17 – “Passion”
Xander: Hello! Excuse me, but have you ever heard of knocking?
Jonathan: We’re supposed to get some books. On Stalin.
Xander: Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?
Giles: This is a school library, Xander.
Xander: Since when?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2, Episode 17 – “Passion”
Cordelia: Wait, I thought vampires couldn’t come in unless you invited them in.
Giles: Yes, but, uh, once you’ve invited them in, thereafter they’re, they’re always welcome.
Xander: Y’know, I think there may be a valuable lesson for you gals here about inviting strange men into your bedrooms.
Cordelia: Oh, God! I invited him in my car once. That means he can come into my car whenever he wants.
Xander: Yep, you’re doomed to havin’ to give him and his vamp pals a lift whenever they feel like it. And those guys never chip in for gas.
Buffy: Giles, there has to be some sort of spell to reverse the invitation, right? Like a barrier, a no shoes, no pulse, no service kind of thing?
Cordelia: Yeah, that works for a car, too?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season 2, Episode 17 – “Passion”
Giles: I cannot believe you are fool enough to do something like this!
Xander: Oh, no, I’m twice the fool it takes to do something like this.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 16 – “Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered”
The Love Pirate 