One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen. You might or want to become the sort of author who works calmly at home, for example, but something could happen that would lead you to become the sort of author who works frantically in the homes of other people, often without their knowledge.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Carnivorous Carnival – Lemony Snicket

There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.  It is difficult to hide an airplane, for instance, because you generally need to find a deep hole or an enormous haystack, and sneak the airplane inside in the middle of the night, but it is easy to hide a secret about an airplane, because you can merely write it on a tiny piece of paper and tape it to the bottom of your mattress any time you are at home.  It is difficult to hide a symphony orchestra, because you usually need to rent a soundproof room and borrow as many sleeping bags as you can find, but it easy to hide a secret about a symphony orchestra, because you can merely whisper it into the ear of a trustworthy friend or music critic.  And it is difficult to hide yourself, because you sometimes need to stuff yourself into the trunk of an automobile, or concoct a disguise out of whatever you can find, but it is easy to hide a secret about yourself, because you can merely type it into a book and hope it falls into the right hands.  My dear sister, if you are reading this, I am still alive, and heading north to try and find you.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Carnivorous Carnival – Lemony Snicket

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.  Some people say that a sunrise is a miracle, because it is somewhat mysterious and often very beautiful, but other people say it is simply a fact of life, because it happens every day and far too early in the morning.  Some people say that a telephone is a miracle, because it sometimes seems wondrous that you can talk with somebody who is thousands of miles away, and other people say it is simply a manufactured device fashioned out of metal parts, electric circuitry, and wires that are very easily cut.  And some people say that sneaking out of a hotel is a miracle, particularly if the lobby is swarming with policemen, and other people say it is simply a fact of life, because it happens every day and far too early in the morning.  So you might think that there are so many miracles in the world that you scarcely count them, or that there are so few that they’re scarcely worth mentioning, depending on whether you spend your mornings gazing at a beautiful sunset or lowering yourself into a back alley with a rope fashioned out of matching towels.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Carnivorous Carnival – Lemony Snicket