Tag Archives: Rupert Giles

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Jenny, Giles

Jenny:  Oh! Thank you so much for loaning me the Forrester book. It’s wonderful!

Giles:  Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

Jenny:  Yeah, it was so romantic, so evocative.

Giles:  That edition was my father’s. I, I, I must’ve read it… twenty times.

Jenny:  Yeah, y’know how you have to, to dog-ear your favorite pages so you can go back to them?

Giles:  Uh, uh, uh, what?

Jenny:  Well, I mean, I-I practically had to fold back every single page. So finally I just, I just started underlining all the pages I really wanted to discuss.

Giles:  U-u-underlined…?

Jenny:  But then, of course, I spilled coffee all over it, I can’t even read it…

Giles:  It’s a first edition!

Jenny:  I’m lying, Rupert. The book’s fine. I just love to see you squirm.

Giles:  Yes, well, I, uh… trust I gave good… squirm.

Jenny:  Did anyone ever tell you you’re kind of a fuddy-duddy?

Giles:  Nobody ever seems to tell me anything else.

Jenny:  Did anyone ever tell you you’re kind of a sexy fuddy-duddy?

Giles:  Well, no. Actually that, that part usually gets left out. I c-can’t imagine why.

Jenny:  This weekend.

Giles:  Would you like to go out?

Jenny:  Mm, no, I think I’d like to stay in.

Giles:  Uh, this, Saturday, then.

Jenny:  Saturday night. I’ll see if I can make you squirm.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Coughing, not speaking

Jenny:  Morning, England.

Giles:  Oh, hello, Ms., uh, uh, uh, Jenny.

Willow:  Feel the passion!

Xander:  Mm-hm!

Jenny:  Willow…

Willow:  (coughs) Coughing, not speaking. (coughs more)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Should I just glare?

Giles:  Um, now, uh, look, tonight is very important, um…

Buffy:  Now, that’s a surprise. So, what’s on tap tonight that’s so important? Uprising, prophesied ritual, preordained deathfest?

Xander:  Ah, the old standards!

Giles:  Um, a medical transport is delivering the monthly supply of blood to the hospital.

Buffy:  Mm. Vampire Meals-On-Wheels.

Giles:  Hopefully not. Uh, we’ll meet outside the hospital at 8:30 sharp. I’ll bring the weaponry.

Buffy:  I’ll bring the party mix!

Giles:  Just don’t be late.

Buffy:  Have I ever let you down?

Giles:  Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Buffy, Willow

Buffy:  I’m on a beach, but not one of those American beaches, one of those island beaches where the water’s way too blue, and I’m laying on my towel, and it’s just before sunset, and Gavin Rossdale’s massaging my feet!

Willow:  Oh, that’s good! Uh, I’m in Florence, Italy, I’ve rented a scooter that’s parked outside, and I’m in a little restaurant eating ziti, and there are no more tables left, so they have to seat this guy with me, and it’s John Cusack!

Buffy:  Ooo! Very impressive. You have such an eye for detail.

Willow:  ‘Cause with the ziti!

Xander:  What are you two up to?

Buffy:  Just having a quick game of ‘Anywhere But Here’.

Xander:  Ooohhh. Amy Yip at the waterslide park.

Willow:  You never come up with anything new.

Xander:  I’m just not fickle like you two, okay? I’m constant in my affections. Amy Yip at the waterslide park!

Willow:  Do you think Giles ever played ‘Anywhere But Here’ when he was in school?

Xander:  Giles lived for school. He’s actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades.

Buffy:  He probably sat in math class thinking, ‘There should be more math. This could be mathier.’

Willow:  C’mon, you don’t think he ever got restless as a kid?

Buffy:  Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Lie to Me

Buffy:  I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.

Giles:  You needn’t say anything.

Buffy:  It’d be simpler if I could just hate him. I think he wanted me to. I think it made it easier for him to be the villain of the piece. Really he was just scared.

Giles:  Yes, I suppose he was.

Buffy:  Nothing’s ever simple anymore. I’m constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It’s just, like, the more I know, the more confused I get.

Giles:  I believe that’s called growing up.

Buffy:  I’d like to stop then, okay?

Giles:  I know the feeling.

Buffy:  Does it ever get easy?

Giles:  You mean life?

Buffy:  Yeah. Does it get easy?

Giles:  What do you want me to say?

Buffy:  Lie to me.

Giles:  Yes, it’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

Buffy:  Liar.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 7 – “Lie to Me”

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Willow, Giles, Halloween

Giles:  Well, alright, l-let’s, let’s, let’s review. Um, so everybody became, uh, whatever they were masquerading as.

Willow:  Right. Xander was a soldier and Buffy was an 18th-century girl.

Giles:  A-and, uh, your, your costume?

Willow:  I’m a ghost!

Giles:  Yes. Um… w, uh, uh, uh, the ghost of what, exactly?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 6 – “Halloween”

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IMG_2795

Willow:  It’s too bad we can’t sneak a look at the Watcher diaries and read up on Angel. I’m sure it’s full of fun facts to know and tell.

Buffy:  Yeah. It’s too bad. That stuff is private.

Willow:  Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files.

Buffy:  Most importantly, it would be wrong.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 6 – “Halloween”

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Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words ‘let that be a lesson’ are a tad redundant at this juncture.
Buffy: I’m sorry.
Giles: So am I. I… I drive you too hard because I-I know what you have to face. From now on no, no more pushing, no more prodding. Just, uh, an inordinate amount of nudging.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”

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Willow, Giles, Angel, Reptile Boy

Giles:  She lied to me?

Willow:  Well…

Angel:  Did… she have a date?

Willow:  Well… Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she’s the Chosen One, but you’re killing her with the pressure! I mean, she’s sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you’re gonna live forever! You don’t have time for a cup of coffee?! … Okay, I don’t feel better now, and we’ve gotta help Buffy.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”

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Willow, Xander, Reptile Boy

Willow:  I can’t believe she lied to Giles. My world is all askew.

Xander:  Buffy’s lying, Buffy’s going to frat parties… That’s not askew, that’s cockeyed.

Willow:  Askew means cockeyed.

Xander:  Oh.

Willow:  Well, there’s nothing we can do about it. We’ll help Giles.

Xander:  I’m goin’ to the party.

Willow:  What?

Xander:  I gotta keep an eye on Buffy. Those frat guys creep me.

Willow:  You wanna protect her?

Xander:  Mm-hm.

Willow:  And prove that you’re just as good as those rich, snotty guys?

Xander:  Mm-hm.

Willow:  Maybe catch an orgy?

Xander:  If it’s on early.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”