The book you are holding in your two hands right now—assuming that you are, in fact, holding this book, and that you have only two hands—is one of the two books in the world that will show you the difference between the word “nervous” and the word “anxious.”  The other book, of course, is the dictionary, and if I were you I would read that book instead.

Like this book, the dictionary shows you that the word “nervous” means “worried about something”—you might feel nervous, for instance, if you were served prune ice cream for dessert, because you would be worried that it would taste awful—whereas the word “anxious” means “troubled by disturbing suspense,” which you might feel if you were served a live alligator for dessert, because you would be troubled by the disturbing suspense about whether you would eat your dessert or it would eat you.  But unlike this book, the dictionary also discusses words that are far more pleasant to contemplate.  The word “bubble” is in the dictionary, for instance, as is the word “peacock,” the word “vacation,” and the words “the” “author’s” “execution” “has” “been” “canceled,” which make up a sentence that is always pleasant to hear.  So if you were to read the dictionary, rather than this book, you could skip the parts about “nervous” and “anxious” and read about things that wouldn’t keep you up all night long, weeping and tearing out your hair.

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Ersatz Elevator – Lemony Snicket