Quote of the Day

Giles asks out a chair

Giles:  W-w-w-what I’m proposing is, um… and I-I don’t mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a-a-a social engagement, um, a, a, a, a-a date, if you’re amenable. … You idiot!

Buffy:  Boy…I guess we never realized how much you like that chair.

Giles:  I-I-I was just working on…

Buffy:  Your pickup lines?

Giles:  Um, in a manner of speaking, yes.

Buffy:  Then if you wouldn’t mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the ‘idiot’ part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.

Xander:  Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on.

Buffy:  I fear you. You also might wanna avoid words like ‘amenable’ and ‘indecorous’, y’know. Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um…

Giles:  England?

Buffy:  Yeah. You just say, ‘Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.’

Giles:  Oh, thank you, Cyrano.

Buffy:  I’m not finished. Then you say, ‘How do you feel about Mexican?’

Giles:  About Mexicans?

Buffy:  Mexican. Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay.

Giles:  Oh. Right.

Xander:  So this chair-woman. We are talking Ms. Calendar, right?

Giles:  W-what makes you think that?

Xander:  Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you’re a school librarian, so you don’t have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.

Buffy:  And she’s the only woman we’ve actually ever seen speak to you. Add it all up and it all spells ‘duh’.

Xander:  Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?

Giles:  You know, I’m suddenly deciding this is none of your business.

Xander:  Y’know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”

Quote of the Day

When She Was Bad

Snyder:  There’re some things I can just smell. It’s like a sixth sense.

Giles:  No, actually that would be one of the five.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 1 – “When She Was Bad”

Quote of the Day

A bitca?

Willow:  She’s possessed!

Giles:  Possessed?

Willow:  That’s the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should’ve seen her last night. That wasn’t Buffy.

Xander:  Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? … She’s possessed.

Giles:  Possessed by what?

Willow:  Aaaaa possessing thing!

Giles:  Well, that narrows it down.

Xander:  Well, you’re the expert. Hey, maybe when the Master killed her some… mystical bad guy transference thing happened.

Willow:  That’s what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?

Giles:  Willow, I think we’re a little too old to be spelling things out.

Xander:  A bitca?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 1 – “When She Was Bad”

Quote of the Day

When She Was Bad

Giles:  I wonder if they’re here for any purpose, particularly.

Buffy:  You’re the Watcher. I just work here.

Giles:  Yes, I-I must consult my books.

Xander:  Oh, eight minutes and thirty-three seconds, pay up. (Willow hands him a dollar) I called ten minutes before you’d consult your books about something.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 1 – “When She Was Bad”

Quote of the Day

When She Was Bad

Willow:  Giles!

Xander:  Yo! G-man! What’s up?

Giles:  Nice to see you. And don’t ever call me that.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 1 – “When She Was Bad”

Quote of the Day

Scoobie Gang, Prophecy Girl

Giles:  The vampires?

Cordelia:  Gone.

Angel:  The Master?

Giles:  Dead. The Hellmouth is closed. Buffy… Buffy?

Buffy:  Oh, sorry. It’s just been a really weird day.

Xander:  Yeah! Buffy died, and everything!

Willow:  Wow! Harsh.

Giles:  I should have known that wouldn’t stop you.

Jenny Calendar:  Well, what do we do now?

Giles:  I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’d like to get out of this place. I don’t like the library very much anymore.

Xander:  Hey! I hear there’s a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun.

Cordelia:  Yeah!

Willow:  Buffy?

Buffy:  Sure! We saved the world. I say we party! I mean, I got all pretty.

Jenny Calendar:  And what about him?

Buffy:  He’s not going anywhere. Loser.

Giles:  I’m not dancing, though.

Jenny Calendar:  We’ll see.

Willow:  You can come with us, Angel.

Buffy:  I’m hungry.

Xander:  So what’s the story with the car?

Cordelia:  Oh, that was me, saving the day!

Willow:  (to Angel) Get something to drink.

Buffy:  Is anybody else hungry?

Willow:  (to Angel) Well, no, don’t do that. Just hang.

Buffy:  I’m really, really hungry.

Angel:  By the way, I really like your dress.

Buffy:  Yeah, yeah. Big hit with everyone.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 12 – “Prohpecy Girl”

Quote of the Day

Prophecy Girl

The Master:  You’re dead!

Buffy:  I may be dead, but I’m still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.

The Master:  You were destined to die! It was written!

Buffy:  What can I say? I flunked the written.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 12 – “Prohpecy Girl”

Quote of the Day

Xander and Angel, Prophecy Girl

Angel:  What?

Xander:  You were looking at my neck.

Angel:  What?

Xander:  You were checking out my neck! I saw that!

Angel:  No, I wasn’t!

Xander:  Just keep your distance, pal.

Angel:  I wasn’t looking at your neck!

Xander:  I told you to eat before we left.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 12 – “Prohpecy Girl”

Quote of the Day

Buffy, Prophecy Girl

Buffy:  When he wakes up tell him… I don’t know. Think of something cool, tell him I said it.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 12 – “Prohpecy Girl”

Quote of the Day

Buffy and Giles, Out of Mind, Out of Sight

Giles:  How exactly do you propose to hunt someone you can’t see? You may have to work on listening to people.

Buffy:  Very funny.

Giles:  I thought so.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 11 – “Out of Mind, Out of Sight”