Tag Archives: BtVS

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Giles:  I never wanted you to see that side of me.

Buffy:  I’m not gonna lie to you. It was scary. I’m so used to you being a grownup, and then I find out that you’re a person.

Giles:  Most grownups are.

Buffy:  Who would’ve thought?

Giles:  Some are even, uh… shortsighted, foolish people.

Buffy:  So, after all this time, we finally find out that we *do* have something in common. Which, apart from being a little weird, is kind of okay. I think we’re supposed to be training right now.

Giles:  Yes. Yes. Um, need to concentrate on your flexibility.

Buffy:  And you know what? I have just the perfect music. Go on, say it. You know you want to.

Giles:  It’s not music, it’s just, uh, meaningless sounds.

Buffy:  There. Feel better?

Giles:  Yes. Thanks. … Bay City Rollers. Now, that’s music.

Buffy:  I didn’t hear that.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Xander:  Uh, I think that Ethan guy disappeared again.

Buffy:  Darn. I really wanted to hit him till he bled.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Buffy:  Xander, how do you feel about digging through some of Giles’ personal files and seeing what you can find?

Xander:  I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath? Nah.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Jenny, Giles

Jenny:  Oh! Thank you so much for loaning me the Forrester book. It’s wonderful!

Giles:  Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

Jenny:  Yeah, it was so romantic, so evocative.

Giles:  That edition was my father’s. I, I, I must’ve read it… twenty times.

Jenny:  Yeah, y’know how you have to, to dog-ear your favorite pages so you can go back to them?

Giles:  Uh, uh, uh, what?

Jenny:  Well, I mean, I-I practically had to fold back every single page. So finally I just, I just started underlining all the pages I really wanted to discuss.

Giles:  U-u-underlined…?

Jenny:  But then, of course, I spilled coffee all over it, I can’t even read it…

Giles:  It’s a first edition!

Jenny:  I’m lying, Rupert. The book’s fine. I just love to see you squirm.

Giles:  Yes, well, I, uh… trust I gave good… squirm.

Jenny:  Did anyone ever tell you you’re kind of a fuddy-duddy?

Giles:  Nobody ever seems to tell me anything else.

Jenny:  Did anyone ever tell you you’re kind of a sexy fuddy-duddy?

Giles:  Well, no. Actually that, that part usually gets left out. I c-can’t imagine why.

Jenny:  This weekend.

Giles:  Would you like to go out?

Jenny:  Mm, no, I think I’d like to stay in.

Giles:  Uh, this, Saturday, then.

Jenny:  Saturday night. I’ll see if I can make you squirm.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Coughing, not speaking

Jenny:  Morning, England.

Giles:  Oh, hello, Ms., uh, uh, uh, Jenny.

Willow:  Feel the passion!

Xander:  Mm-hm!

Jenny:  Willow…

Willow:  (coughs) Coughing, not speaking. (coughs more)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Should I just glare?

Giles:  Um, now, uh, look, tonight is very important, um…

Buffy:  Now, that’s a surprise. So, what’s on tap tonight that’s so important? Uprising, prophesied ritual, preordained deathfest?

Xander:  Ah, the old standards!

Giles:  Um, a medical transport is delivering the monthly supply of blood to the hospital.

Buffy:  Mm. Vampire Meals-On-Wheels.

Giles:  Hopefully not. Uh, we’ll meet outside the hospital at 8:30 sharp. I’ll bring the weaponry.

Buffy:  I’ll bring the party mix!

Giles:  Just don’t be late.

Buffy:  Have I ever let you down?

Giles:  Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Buffy, Willow

Buffy:  I’m on a beach, but not one of those American beaches, one of those island beaches where the water’s way too blue, and I’m laying on my towel, and it’s just before sunset, and Gavin Rossdale’s massaging my feet!

Willow:  Oh, that’s good! Uh, I’m in Florence, Italy, I’ve rented a scooter that’s parked outside, and I’m in a little restaurant eating ziti, and there are no more tables left, so they have to seat this guy with me, and it’s John Cusack!

Buffy:  Ooo! Very impressive. You have such an eye for detail.

Willow:  ‘Cause with the ziti!

Xander:  What are you two up to?

Buffy:  Just having a quick game of ‘Anywhere But Here’.

Xander:  Ooohhh. Amy Yip at the waterslide park.

Willow:  You never come up with anything new.

Xander:  I’m just not fickle like you two, okay? I’m constant in my affections. Amy Yip at the waterslide park!

Willow:  Do you think Giles ever played ‘Anywhere But Here’ when he was in school?

Xander:  Giles lived for school. He’s actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades.

Buffy:  He probably sat in math class thinking, ‘There should be more math. This could be mathier.’

Willow:  C’mon, you don’t think he ever got restless as a kid?

Buffy:  Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Dark Age”

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Lie to Me

Buffy:  I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.

Giles:  You needn’t say anything.

Buffy:  It’d be simpler if I could just hate him. I think he wanted me to. I think it made it easier for him to be the villain of the piece. Really he was just scared.

Giles:  Yes, I suppose he was.

Buffy:  Nothing’s ever simple anymore. I’m constantly trying to work it out. Who to love or hate. Who to trust. It’s just, like, the more I know, the more confused I get.

Giles:  I believe that’s called growing up.

Buffy:  I’d like to stop then, okay?

Giles:  I know the feeling.

Buffy:  Does it ever get easy?

Giles:  You mean life?

Buffy:  Yeah. Does it get easy?

Giles:  What do you want me to say?

Buffy:  Lie to me.

Giles:  Yes, it’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.

Buffy:  Liar.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 7 – “Lie to Me”

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That baby is sore!

Willow:  Boy, we blend right in.

Xander:  In no way do we stick out like sore thumbs.

Angel:  Let’s look around. You guys check out downstairs.

Xander:  Sure thing, Bossy the cow!

Willow:  Okay, but do they really stick out?

Xander:  What?

Willow:  Sore thumbs. Do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, ‘Wow! That baby is sore!’

Xander:  You have too many thoughts.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 7 – “Lie to Me”

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I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one

Angel:  He leaves no paper trail, no records, that’s incriminating enough.

Xander:  Yeah, I’m gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one.

Angel:  Could you *not* call me that?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 7 – “Lie to Me”