Bandit: Pardon me for intruding, but I believe y’all carrying something of mine.

Jayne: T’ain’t your’n!

Bandit: Did you think we wouldn’t find out you changed your route? You gonna give us what due us, and every damn thing else on that boat. And I think maybe you’re gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the missus.

Jayne: Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.

Mal: How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?

Jayne: If I could make you purtier, I would.

Mal: You are not the man I met a year ago.

(Mal and Jayne draw their guns)

Mal: Now think real hard. You been bird-dogging this township a while now. They wouldn’t mind a corpse of you. Now you can luxuriate in a nice jail cell, but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty flowered bonnet, I will end you.

Firefly — Episode 6 — “Our Mrs. Reynolds”