Quote of the Day

Buffy, Willow, Xander, Reptile Boy

Buffy:  Well, say it.

Xander:  I’m not gonna say it.

Willow:  You lied to Giles.

Xander:  ‘Cause she will.

Buffy:  Look, I wasn’t lying. I was just… protecting him from information that he wouldn’t be able to… digest properly.

Xander:  Like a corn dog.

Willow:  Like you don’t have a sick mother, but you’d rather go to a frat party where there’s gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.

Xander:  Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren’t I on the mailing list?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”

Quote of the Day

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Buffy:  Come on! Can’t you put your foot down?

Giles:  It is down.

Buffy:  One of these days you’re gonna have to get a grownup car.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 4 – “Inca Mummy Girl”

Quote of the Day

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Giles:  You have responsibilities that other girls do not.

Buffy:  Oh! I know this one! ‘Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I’m so stuffy, gimme a scone.’

Giles:  It’s as if you know me.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 4 – “Inca Mummy Girl”

Quote of the Day

Willow in School Hard

Willow:  (about Angel) Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that’s still, like, four hundred dates with four hundred different… (Buffy gives her a look) Why do they call it a mace?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 3 – “School Hard”

Quote of the Day

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Jenny Calendar:  I don’t know what it is about football that does it for me. I mean, it lacks the, the grace of basketball, the, uh, poetry of baseball. At its best it’s unadorned aggression. It’s such a rugged contest.

Giles:  Rugged. American football. (laughs)

Jenny Calendar:  And that’s funny because?

Giles:  No! I just think it’s rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.

Jenny Calendar:  Is this your normal strategy for a first date? Dissing my country’s national pastime?

Giles:  Did you just say ‘date’?

Jenny Calendar:  You noticed that, huh?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”

Quote of the Day

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Buffy:  I couldn’t believe Angel. He was acting all jealous, and he wouldn’t even admit it.

Willow:  Jealous of what?

Buffy:  Of Xander.

Willow:  Because you did that sexy dance with him?

Buffy:  Am I ever gonna live that down?

Willow:  No.

Buffy:  Anyway, he was being totally irrational.

Willow:  Love makes you do the wacky.

Buffy:  That’s the truth.

Xander:  Y’know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.

Giles:  Here, here.

Buffy:  Sorry, but I’m an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”

Quote of the Day

Damn it

Giles:  Grave robbing? That’s new. Interesting.

Buffy:  I *know* you meant to say gross and disturbing.

Giles:  Yes, yes, yes of course. Uh, terrible thing. Must, must put a stop to it. Damn it.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”

Quote of the Day

Giles asks out a chair

Giles:  W-w-w-what I’m proposing is, um… and I-I don’t mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a-a-a social engagement, um, a, a, a, a-a date, if you’re amenable. … You idiot!

Buffy:  Boy…I guess we never realized how much you like that chair.

Giles:  I-I-I was just working on…

Buffy:  Your pickup lines?

Giles:  Um, in a manner of speaking, yes.

Buffy:  Then if you wouldn’t mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the ‘idiot’ part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.

Xander:  Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on.

Buffy:  I fear you. You also might wanna avoid words like ‘amenable’ and ‘indecorous’, y’know. Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um…

Giles:  England?

Buffy:  Yeah. You just say, ‘Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.’

Giles:  Oh, thank you, Cyrano.

Buffy:  I’m not finished. Then you say, ‘How do you feel about Mexican?’

Giles:  About Mexicans?

Buffy:  Mexican. Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay.

Giles:  Oh. Right.

Xander:  So this chair-woman. We are talking Ms. Calendar, right?

Giles:  W-what makes you think that?

Xander:  Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you’re a school librarian, so you don’t have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.

Buffy:  And she’s the only woman we’ve actually ever seen speak to you. Add it all up and it all spells ‘duh’.

Xander:  Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?

Giles:  You know, I’m suddenly deciding this is none of your business.

Xander:  Y’know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”

Quote of the Day

When She Was Bad

Snyder:  There’re some things I can just smell. It’s like a sixth sense.

Giles:  No, actually that would be one of the five.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 1 – “When She Was Bad”

Quote of the Day

A bitca?

Willow:  She’s possessed!

Giles:  Possessed?

Willow:  That’s the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should’ve seen her last night. That wasn’t Buffy.

Xander:  Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? … She’s possessed.

Giles:  Possessed by what?

Willow:  Aaaaa possessing thing!

Giles:  Well, that narrows it down.

Xander:  Well, you’re the expert. Hey, maybe when the Master killed her some… mystical bad guy transference thing happened.

Willow:  That’s what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?

Giles:  Willow, I think we’re a little too old to be spelling things out.

Xander:  A bitca?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 1 – “When She Was Bad”