Buffy: I told one lie, I had one drink.
Giles: Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words ‘let that be a lesson’ are a tad redundant at this juncture.
Buffy: I’m sorry.
Giles: So am I. I… I drive you too hard because I-I know what you have to face. From now on no, no more pushing, no more prodding. Just, uh, an inordinate amount of nudging.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”
Giles: She lied to me?
Willow: Well…
Angel: Did… she have a date?
Willow: Well… Well, why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she’s the Chosen One, but you’re killing her with the pressure! I mean, she’s sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you’re gonna live forever! You don’t have time for a cup of coffee?! … Okay, I don’t feel better now, and we’ve gotta help Buffy.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”
Willow: I can’t believe she lied to Giles. My world is all askew.
Xander: Buffy’s lying, Buffy’s going to frat parties… That’s not askew, that’s cockeyed.
Willow: Askew means cockeyed.
Xander: Oh.
Willow: Well, there’s nothing we can do about it. We’ll help Giles.
Xander: I’m goin’ to the party.
Willow: What?
Xander: I gotta keep an eye on Buffy. Those frat guys creep me.
Willow: You wanna protect her?
Xander: Mm-hm.
Willow: And prove that you’re just as good as those rich, snotty guys?
Xander: Mm-hm.
Willow: Maybe catch an orgy?
Xander: If it’s on early.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”
Buffy: Well, say it.
Xander: I’m not gonna say it.
Willow: You lied to Giles.
Xander: ‘Cause she will.
Buffy: Look, I wasn’t lying. I was just… protecting him from information that he wouldn’t be able to… digest properly.
Xander: Like a corn dog.
Willow: Like you don’t have a sick mother, but you’d rather go to a frat party where there’s gonna be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.
Xander: Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho, rewind. Since when do they have orgies, and why aren’t I on the mailing list?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”
Willow: You dreamed about Angel again?
Buffy: Third night in a row.
Willow: What did he do in the dream?
Buffy: Stuff.
Willow: Oh! Stuff! Was it one of those vivid dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair?
Buffy: It had surround sound. I’m just thinking about him so much lately.
Willow: You two are so right for each other. Except for the, uh…
Buffy: Vampire thing.
Willow: That doesn’t make him a bad person. Necessarily.
Buffy: I’m brainsick. I can’t have a relationship with him.
Willow: Not during the day, but you could ask him for coffee some night. It’s the non-relationship drink of choice. It’s not a date, it’s a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it’s hot and bitter like a relationship that way, but…
Xander: What’s like a relationship?
Buffy: Nothing I have.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”
Xander: Is she dying?
Buffy: I think she’s singing.
Xander: To a telephone in Hindi. Now that’s entertainment! Why is she singing?
Willow: She’s sad because her lover gave her twelve gold coins, but then the wizard cut open the bag of salt, and now the dancing minions have nowhere to put their big maypole… fish thing.
Xander: Uh-huh. Why is she singing?
Buffy: Her lover? I thought that was her chiropractor.
Willow: Because of that thing he did with her feet? No, that was personal.
Xander: Hmm. And we thought just because we didn’t have any money or anyplace to go this would be a lackluster evening.
Willow: I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water.
Xander: Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail.
Buffy: I, for one, am giddy and up. There’s a kinda hush all over Sunnydale. No demons or vampires to slay, I’m here with my friends… So, how does the water buffalo fit in again?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 5 – “Reptile Boy”
The Love Pirate 