The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen. An aphorism is merely a small group of words arranged in a certain order because they sound good that way, but oftentimes people tend to say them as if they were saying something very mysterious and wise.
A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Vile Village – Lemony Snicket
Jake Sisko: Come on, Nog.
Nog: No.
Jake Sisko: Why not?
Nog: It’s my money, Jake. If you want to bid at the auction, use your own money.
Jake Sisko: I’m human, I don’t have any money.
Nog: It’s not my fault that your species decided to abandon currency-based economics in favour of some philosophy of self-enhancement.
Jake Sisko: Hey, watch it. There’s nothing wrong with our philosophy. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity.
Nog: What does that mean exactly?
Jake Sisko: It means… It means we don’t need money.
Nog: Well if you don’t need money, then you certainly don’t need mine.
Jake Sisko: How much latinum do you have? How much?
Nog: Five bars.
Jake Sisko: Five bars!
Nog: Look, it’s taken me a lifetime to save up that much money, and I’m not going to just throw it away for some baseball card.
Jake Sisko: Not even for my father, the man who made it possible for you to enter Starfleet Academy.
Nog: Oh no, that’s not fair.
Jake Sisko: The man who believed in you when no one else would.
Nog: Oh, this is so low.
Jake Sisko: I can’t believe you would rather keep your filthy money locked away in a box under a bed than use it to give him endless moments of happiness.
Nog: Argh! All right, all right. I’ll do it.
Jake Sisko: That’s very generous, Nog. I’m proud of you. Now let’s get that money.
Nog: Hew-mons.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 25 – “In the Cards”
“Ah, Harry, how often this happens, even between the best of friends! Each of us believes that what he has to say is much more important than anything the other might have to contribute!”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – J.K. Rowling
Buffy: It’s not that big a deal. It’s just a bunch of people getting together.
Willow: It’s a very big deal!
Buffy: It’s not!
Willow: It is. (spots Giles) Tell her!
Giles: I’m afraid it’s very big.
Willow: Thank you! Wait! What are you talking about?
Giles: What are *you* talking about?
Buffy and Willow: Boys!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
A newspaper, as I’m sure you know, is a collection of supposedly true stories written down by writers who either saw them happen or talked to people who did. These writers are called journalists, and like telephone operators, butchers, ballerinas, and people who clean up after horses, journalists can sometimes make mistakes.
A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Vile Village – Lemony Snicket
Molly: Aren’t you gonna help?
Miles O’Brien: I’m busy.
Molly: You don’t look busy.
Benjamin Sisko: She’s an O’Brien all right.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 22 – “Children of Time”
“He accused me of being ‘Dumbledore’s man through and through.'”
“How very rude of him.”
“I told him I was.”Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Behind Harry, Fawkes the phoenix let out a low, soft, musical cry. To Harry’s intense embarassment, he suddenly realized that Dumbledore’s bright blue eyes looked rather watery, and stared hastily at his own knees. When Dumbledore spoke, however, his voice was quite steady.
“I am very touched, Harry.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – J.K. Rowling
Xander: Has anybody given any thought to what this green stuff is?
Buffy: Hmm, I’m avoiding the subject.
Xander: I think it’s kale, or possibly string cheese. So, Buffy, how’d the slaying go last night?
Buffy: Xander!
Xander: I mean, how’d the *laying* go? No, I don’t mean that either.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don’t read is often as important as what you do read. For instance, if you are walking in the mountains, and you don’t read the sign that says “Beware of Cliff” because you are busy reading a joke book instead, you may suddenly find yourself walking on air rather than on a sturdy bed of rocks. If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled “How to Build a Chair” instead of a cookbook, your pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling. And if you insist on reading this book instead of something more cheerful, you will most certainly find yourself moaning in despair instead of wriggling in delight, so if you have any sense at all you will put this book down and pick up another one.
A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Vile Village – Lemony Snicket
Gabriel: Are you the son of Mogh?
Worf: Yes, I am.
Gabriel: Is it true you can kill someone, just by looking at them?
Worf: Only when I am angry.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 22 – “Children of Time”
The Love Pirate 