Adam: What are your qualifications?
Betelgeuse: Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I’m qualified?
Beetlejuice
Dogberry: Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.
Much Ado About Nothing – William Shakespeare
Welcome to “Trailer Tuesday” where I talk about trailers for upcoming movies, since I’ve always found them to be endlessly fascinating.
I’m sorry this post is a day late. I was going to come up with something creative about being out doing my Love Pirate duties, but the reality is that I just didn’t get around to it in time. However I finally got it done. As the release of Thor: The Dark World approaches, it’s time for Marvel to start promoting the next film in their Cinematic Universe. Behold the trailer for Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which takes things in a drastically different direction than 2011’s Captain America: The First Avenger. Take a look below, and read on for my thoughts:
Doctor Bashir: Nervous, Chief?
Miles O’Brien: What are you talking about?
Doctor Bashir: That’s your fifth cup of coffee in twenty minutes.
Miles O’Brien: I didn’t realize you were keeping track.
Doctor Bashir: Oh, nervous and irascible.
Miles O’Brien: If you hadn’t seen your wife and child for two months, you’d be irascible too.
Doctor Bashir: Well, believe me, I’m looking forward to Keiko and Molly’s visit as much as you are.
Miles O’Brien: Ha, I doubt that.
Doctor Bashir: How many games of raquetball have we played in the last two months?
Miles O’Brien: I don’t know. Fifteen, maybe twenty.
Doctor Bashir: Try seventy. I’ve been keeping track of that, too, and do you know what all those games have proved to me? That I’m a poor substitute for your wife.
Miles O’Brien: I could have told you that sixty games ago.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 3, Episode 10 – “Fascination”
“I told you!” Ron hissed at Hermione as she stared down at the article. “I told you not to annoy Rita Skeeter! She’s made you out to be some sort of — of scarlet woman!”
Hermione stopped looking astonished and snorted with laughter. “Scarlet woman?” she repeated, shaking with suppressed giggles as she looked around at Ron.
“It’s what my mum calls them,” Ron muttered, his ears going red.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – J.K. Rowling
(Note: This is a fictional creative writing exercise, inspired by hours of contemplation of which animated performances have been most worthy of attention over the years. This feature imagines that a Best Voice Performance category was added to the Oscars following Beauty and the Beast’s nomination for Best Picture at the 64th Academy Awards. Each week I’ll cover the hypothetical nominees and winner from one year of animated performances.)
When Jeremy Irons won the award at the 67th Academy Awards, the general consensus was that the category had finally produced a winner that represented the dramatic performance quality that the award had been created in order to recognize. There was still some grumbling over the fact that the nominees were largely dominated by one film, but The Lion King had been so impressive that it was hard for people to complain too much about any of the individual nominees. Disney was set to release another animated film in 1995, Pocahontas, based on a time period and series of events ripe for drama, and featuring the voice of Mel Gibson, who would go on to have a huge year with Braveheart. But what no one could have predicted was Toy Story and the emergence of Pixar. Continue reading
Elphaba: What? What are you all looking at? OH! Do I have something in my teeth? Is my underskirt showing? Alright, let’s just get this over with. No, I am not seasick. Yes, I’ve always been green. No, I didn’t eat grass as a child…
Wicked
Howard:
If I didn’t have you, life would be blue
I’d be Doctor Who without the TARDIS
A candle without a wick, a Watson without a Crick
I’d be one of my outfits without a dick-eyI’d be cheese without the mac,
Steve Jobs without the Wozniak
I’d be solving exponential equations that use bases not found on your calculator, making it much harder to crackI’d be an atom without a bomb, a dot without the com
And I’d probably still live with my mom
(All, echo: And he’d probably still live with his mom)Ever since I met you, you’ve turned my world around
You’ve supported all my dreams and all my hopes
You’re like Uranium-235 and I’m Uranium-238,
Almost inseparable isotopesI couldn’t have imagined how good my life would get
From the moment that I met you, BernadetteIf I didn’t have you, life would be dreary
I’d be string theory without any string
I’d be binary code without a one,
A cathode ray without an electron gun
I’d be ‘Firefly’, ‘Buffy,’ and ‘Avengers’ without Joss Whedon
I’d speak a lot more Klingon,
[Speaks Klingon]
All: And he’d definitely still live with his momEver since I met you, you’ve turned my world around
You’re my best friend and my lover
We’re like changing electric and magnetic fields;
you can’t have one, without the otherI couldn’t have imagined how good my life would get
From the moment that I met you, BernadetteAll: Oh, we couldn’t have imagined, how good our lives would get
From the moment that we met you, Bernadette
The Big Bang Theory, Season 7: Episode 6 – “The Romance Resonance
Entertainment Weekly ran an article today about “How to fix ‘Agents of SHIELD’”, which brought up many of the common complaints about Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. along with a variety of suggestions for how the show to improve. I’ve spent some time perusing forums and comment sections and have seen most of these complaints before, and I thought I’d take some time to answer some of them. I should preface this by saying that I’m hardly an unbiased observer. I’m already attached to SHIELD, and I’m obviously enjoying it. I want to see it succeed, but even more than that I want the writers and creators to tell the story they want to tell without trying to bow to internet grumblings. (This would obviously be different if the show had a problem of a social variety, such as racism, misogyny or a negative attitude towards LGBT issues. I would say that the show is pretty darn white, though of the 6 leads one actor is Chinese and another is half Chinese, so that’s something at least. As for LGBT characters, I have faith in Joss and company if not in ABC, considering it took huge ensemble show Once Upon a Time three seasons before we got an LGBT character.) Suffice to say I’m invested in SHIELD and I think it’s doing a lot of things right, and while I’m not a big fan of audience blaming I think some of the criticism is unfair and shortsighted.
Before I get to addressing Darren Franich’s specific complaints/suggestions, I should say that I think SHIELD’s creators have a different approach to “genre” television than what is commonly seen on TV in the 2010’s and what audiences expect from “genre” television in general these days.
“Oh for heaven’s sake!” Hermione cried. “Listen to me, all of you! You’ve got just as much right as wizards to be unhappy! You’ve got the right to wages and holidays and proper clothes, you don’t have to do everything you’re told — look at Dobby!”
“Miss will please keep Dobby out of this,” Dobby mumbled, looking scared.
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – J.K. Rowling
The Love Pirate 