Raj: Well, I’m a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life, we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I’m reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings!
The Big Bang Theory, Season 2: Episode 23 – “The Monopolar Expidition”
Leonard: [To his mother] Howard lives with his mother, and Raj can’t speak to women unless he’s drunk. Go!
The Big Bang Theory, Season 2: Episode 15 – “The Maternal Capacitance”
Sheldon: Oh, look! Saturn 3 is on.
Raj: I don’t want to watch Saturn 3. Deep Space 9 is better.
Sheldon: How is Deep Space 9 better than Saturn 3?
Raj: Simple subtraction will tell you it’s six better.
Leonard: Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.
Sheldon: In what sense is that a compromise?
Leonard: Well, 5 is partway between 3 and…never mind.
The Big Bang Theory, Season 2: Episode 8 – “The Lizard-Spock Expansion”
Leonard: I’ve always been a little confused about this — why don’t Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism cattle are thought to be like gods.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I’m in, I’ll take you out, I swear to cow!
The Big Bang Theory, Season 3: Episode 4 – “The Pirate Solution”
The Big Bang Theory, Season 1: Episode 7 – “The Dumpling Paradox”
Howard: Watch this, it’s really cool. Call Leonard Hofstadter.
Howard’s Phone: Did you say, call Helen Boxleitner?
Howard: No. Call Leonard Hofstadter.
Howard’s Phone: Did you say, call Temple Beth Seder.
Howard: No.
Leonard: Here, let me try. Call McFlono McFloonyloo. Heh-heh.
Howard’s Phone: Calling Rajesh Koothrappali.
(Raj’s phone rings).
Raj: Oh, that’s very impressive. And a little racist.
The Love Pirate 