“I don’t think you should be an Auror, Harry,” said Luna unexpectedly. Everybody looked at her. “The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They’re working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease.”
Harry inhaled half his mead up his nose as he started to laugh. Really, it had been worth bringing Luna just for this.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – J.K. Rowling
Giles: Uh, well, basically the, uh, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and then lures innocent virgins back to her nest.
Buffy: Virgins? Well, Xander’s not a, uh… I mean, he’s probably…
Willow: …gonna die!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 4 – “Teacher’s Pet”
One of the greatest myths in the world—and the phrase “greatest myths” is just a fancy way of saying “big fat lies”—is that troublesome things get less and less troublesome if you do them more and more. People say this myth when they are teaching children to ride bicycles, for instance, as though falling off a bicycle and skinning your knee is less troublesome the fourteenth time you do it than it is the first time. The truth is that troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them, and that you should avoid doing them unless they are absolutely urgent.
A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Ersatz Elevator – Lemony Snicket
Worf: I do not like doctors. Any doctors.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 16 – “Dr. Bashir, I Presume?”
“Yes, I’m meeting Cormac at eight, and we’re —”
There was a noise like a plunger being withdrawn from a blocked sink and Ron surfaced. Hermione acted as though she had not seen or heard anything.
“— we’re going up to the party together.”
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – J.K. Rowling
Waiting rooms, as I’m sure you know, are small rooms with plenty of chairs for waiting, as well as piles of old, dull magazines to read and some vapid paintings—the word “vapid” here means “usually containing horses in a field or puppies in a basket”—while you endure the boredom that doctors and dentists inflict on their patients before bringing them in to poke them and prod them and do all the miserable things that such people are paid to do.
A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Ersatz Elevator – Lemony Snicket
Miles O’Brien: Four weeks? Are you telling me I’ve been hanging around a Changeling for over a month?
Julian Bashir: And you never even suspected it wasn’t me?
Miles O’Brien: No. And the worst part is, the clues were right in front of me.
Julian Bashir: What clues?
Miles O’Brien: Well, for one thing, he… was a lot easier to get along with.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 15 – “By Inferno’s Light”
“AHA!” screamed a voice from overhead and both of them jumped; unnoticed by either of them, they had just passed right underneath Peeves, who was hanging upside down from a chandelier and grinning maliciously at them.
“Potty asked Loony to go to the party! Potty lurves Loony! Potty luuuuurves Looooooony!”
And he zoomed away, cackling and shrieking, “Potty loves Loony!”
“Nice to keep these things private,” said Harry.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – J.K. Rowling
Giles: That’s all he said? Fork Guy?
Buffy: That’s all Cryptic Guy said: Fork Guy.
Giles: I think there are too many ‘guys’ in your life. (laughs at his own joke)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 4 – “Teacher’s Pet”
“I couldn’t find any ropes at all,” Violet admitted, as she rejoined her siblings. “But I did find these extension cords, which might work.”
“I took these curtain pulls down from some of the windows,” Klaus said. “They’re a little bit like ropes, so I thought they might be useful.”
“Armani,” Sunny offered, holding up an armful of Jerome’s neckties.
A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Ersatz Elevator – Lemony Snicket
The Love Pirate 