Xander: Hey! Buffy!
Willow: You missed it!
Buffy: Missed what?
Xander: We just saw the zebras mating! Thank you, very exciting…
Willow: It was like the Heimlich, with stripes!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 6 – “The Pack”
Buffy: We don’t even know if this is anything.
Giles: No, we don’t.
Buffy: And I haven’t had a day off in a while.
Giles: True…
Buffy: And a cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer!
Giles: Buffy, maintaining a normal social life as a Slayer… i-i-is problematic at best.
Buffy: This is the 90’s. The 1990’s, in point of fact, and I can do both. Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go on a date.
Giles: Well, I, I suppose it was a fairly slim lead…
Buffy: Thank you, thank you, thank you! And look, I won’t go far, okay? If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Buffy: Hey, how’s it going?
Giles: Uh, alright.
Buffy: That’s great! I see we’re still working on that Anointed One problem, that’ll probably take you a few days, right? I mean, that’s one obscure prophecy…
Giles: Well, yes, there are a few interpretations…
Buffy: So tonight’s looking slow, right? Probably best to relax and regroup, no big disasters coming, that is *so* good, I will see you tomorrow then! Bye!
Giles: She is the strangest girl.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Xander: So you just went home?
Buffy: What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, ‘Sorry I was late, I was sitting in a cemetery with the librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass?’
Xander: Or flat tire?
Buffy: I can’t take this anymore. I feel like everyone is staring at me, the big, hideous, dateless monster. (to a passing student) What? Yeah, that’s right, I have no life, c’mon, nothin’ to see here, pal, move it along!
Xander: You’re acting a little overly, aren’t you? I mean, you could have any guy in school.
Buffy: He’s not any guy. He’s more… Oweny.
Xander: Sure, he’s got a certain Owenosity, but that’s not hard to find. I mean, a lotta guys read. I can read.
Owen: Hey, Buffy!
Buffy: Owen!
Xander: Oh, look, it’s Owen. Buffy and Owen. And Xander. That’d be me.
Owen: W-where were you last night?
Buffy: Oh. Well, um, my watch broke and we don’t have any clocks in our house and so I didn’t know what time it was or even what day it was…
Owen: I thought I was the only one that happened to.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Buffy: Well, we’ll be ready whenever it is.
Giles: Which is tonight.
Buffy: Tonight, okay… Not okay! It can’t be tonight!
Giles: My calculations are precise.
Buffy: Nuh! They’re bad calculations! Bad!
Willow: Buffy has a really important date.
Buffy: Owen!
Giles: Alright, I-I’ll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you’re abusing sarcasm.
Giles: Buffy, this is no ordinary vampire. But we have to stop him before he reaches the Master.
Buffy: But… Cute guy! Teenager! Post-pubescent fantasies!
Giles: Those will just have to be put on hold! The dark forces are aligning against us, and we have a chance to beat them back. Tonight we go into battle!
[Cut to the graveyard. Giles and Buffy are sitting on a large gravestone.]
Giles: Perhaps I miscalculated.
Buffy: I’m thinking yes.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Buffy: It’s not that big a deal. It’s just a bunch of people getting together.
Willow: It’s a very big deal!
Buffy: It’s not!
Willow: It is. (spots Giles) Tell her!
Giles: I’m afraid it’s very big.
Willow: Thank you! Wait! What are you talking about?
Giles: What are *you* talking about?
Buffy and Willow: Boys!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Xander: Has anybody given any thought to what this green stuff is?
Buffy: Hmm, I’m avoiding the subject.
Xander: I think it’s kale, or possibly string cheese. So, Buffy, how’d the slaying go last night?
Buffy: Xander!
Xander: I mean, how’d the *laying* go? No, I don’t mean that either.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Buffy: Oh! Owen! Hi!
Giles: What do you want?
Owen: A book?
Giles: Oh!
Buffy: See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 5 – “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”
Giles: Where am I gonna find the…
Buffy: In the vid library? There’re no books, but it’s dark and musty, you’ll feel right at home, go!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 4 – “Teacher’s Pet”
Giles: Uh, well, basically the, uh, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and then lures innocent virgins back to her nest.
Buffy: Virgins? Well, Xander’s not a, uh… I mean, he’s probably…
Willow: …gonna die!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 1: Episode 4 – “Teacher’s Pet”
The Love Pirate 