Giles: W-w-w-what I’m proposing is, um… and I-I don’t mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a-a-a social engagement, um, a, a, a, a-a date, if you’re amenable. … You idiot!
Buffy: Boy…I guess we never realized how much you like that chair.
Giles: I-I-I was just working on…
Buffy: Your pickup lines?
Giles: Um, in a manner of speaking, yes.
Buffy: Then if you wouldn’t mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the ‘idiot’ part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.
Xander: Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on.
Buffy: I fear you. You also might wanna avoid words like ‘amenable’ and ‘indecorous’, y’know. Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um…
Giles: England?
Buffy: Yeah. You just say, ‘Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.’
Giles: Oh, thank you, Cyrano.
Buffy: I’m not finished. Then you say, ‘How do you feel about Mexican?’
Giles: About Mexicans?
Buffy: Mexican. Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay.
Giles: Oh. Right.
Xander: So this chair-woman. We are talking Ms. Calendar, right?
Giles: W-what makes you think that?
Xander: Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you’re a school librarian, so you don’t have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.
Buffy: And she’s the only woman we’ve actually ever seen speak to you. Add it all up and it all spells ‘duh’.
Xander: Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?
Giles: You know, I’m suddenly deciding this is none of your business.
Xander: Y’know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”
