Quote of the Day

Giles asks out a chair

Giles:  W-w-w-what I’m proposing is, um… and I-I don’t mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a-a-a social engagement, um, a, a, a, a-a date, if you’re amenable. … You idiot!

Buffy:  Boy…I guess we never realized how much you like that chair.

Giles:  I-I-I was just working on…

Buffy:  Your pickup lines?

Giles:  Um, in a manner of speaking, yes.

Buffy:  Then if you wouldn’t mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the ‘idiot’ part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.

Xander:  Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on.

Buffy:  I fear you. You also might wanna avoid words like ‘amenable’ and ‘indecorous’, y’know. Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um…

Giles:  England?

Buffy:  Yeah. You just say, ‘Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.’

Giles:  Oh, thank you, Cyrano.

Buffy:  I’m not finished. Then you say, ‘How do you feel about Mexican?’

Giles:  About Mexicans?

Buffy:  Mexican. Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay.

Giles:  Oh. Right.

Xander:  So this chair-woman. We are talking Ms. Calendar, right?

Giles:  W-what makes you think that?

Xander:  Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you’re a school librarian, so you don’t have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.

Buffy:  And she’s the only woman we’ve actually ever seen speak to you. Add it all up and it all spells ‘duh’.

Xander:  Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?

Giles:  You know, I’m suddenly deciding this is none of your business.

Xander:  Y’know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2: Episode 2 – “Some Assembly Required”

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